#Streeeats: Pumpkin Blondies
Pumpkin Blondies:
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Pumpkin Blondies:
PILF: Professor I’d Like to Fuck
Asian SDT: If I learn Hebrew does that make me eligible for Birthright?
Name: Nolan Burger
Street: Tell us about Penny Loafers. Where do you perform?
Iran:
Schuylkill River Park
Step 1:
...to the joining in marriage of Mister Charles Vandenheuvel Moneypants III and Miss Rachel Goldstein. The happy couple met at the University of Pennsylvania, as apparently 50% of assholes do. Mr. Moneypants III was taken by Ms. Goldstein's grace and beauty when he spied her dancing on an elevated surface at a popular Philadelphia nightclub. Rumor has it that the two will be honeymooning on the island of Mykonos, which Mr. Moneypants II recently acquired as part of his purchase of the sovereign nation of Greece. The Goldstein kvelled to Forbes magazine that he got a great deal on it. Ms. Goldstein will be resplendent in a gown fashioned from albino tiger fur designed by Donald Trump as part of his new line, Look Super Good And Classy On Your Wedding Day. This truly is a love–conquers–all story; Ms. Goldstein, reached for comment, noted, “He’s not Jewish, but it’s a mitzvah to marry up.”
Know Your Place! As an integral part of the feudalist system, you are bound to your lord, and to the land itself. Leaving your fields, barn or study carrel will result in death most certain.
1. TV: It's just so hard to schlep from place to place, even if it is a flat screen.
Backpage SABS'd this week to see how you choose to schlep your shit.
If you haven't heard, the Social Ivy has a new title—welcome to the #1 party school in the nation, according to Playboy Magazine. Highbrow will drink to that, Ben Franklin.
QuakerNet (amazing resource, alumni network)
1:29 p.m.: Waltz into the “health spa” just in time for my first colonic. I get Brazilians and Pap smears on the reg. I got this.
FISH(MONGERS) ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD
This week, we have some new releases from Engineers, The Juan McLean, Slash and Chris Brown, along with plenty of fun picks to vibe out to from your trusty Music editors.
Name: Sydney Schaedel
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