Humor

Updated List of Events All Fraternities Must Attend

Workshop: what is a vagina?

by CLAIRE SCHMIDT

Overheards 10.11.17

Resigned WASP: “I stopped believing when God failed to answer my prayers for good dick.”

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Handshake Renamed OneArmedHug to Foster More Accurate OCR Experience

Putting the "cute" in "recruiting"

by CAMI POTTER

BREAKING: Student “Activist” Selects Frame for Profile Picture That Will Solve Everything

Brb, saving the planet.

by LILY ZIRLIN

Overheards: 10.4.17

True patriot: "I gave my first handjob on the Washington Monument." 

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Fall Break Offers Freshman First Big Chance to Assert Privilege Over Everyone

"I’ve been slowly building on my superiority for a while now."

by CLAIRE SCHMIDT

Unclear if Undergrads Speaking in Code or Just Overusing Penn-centric Abbreviations

He def SABS enough to be PPE.

by SHOSHANA STERNSTEIN

Students Vote to Replace Harvest with SoulCycle; Life-Saving Urgent Care Center Second

I'm not trying to walk back from my work out—I literally JUST worked out 

by CAMI POTTER

Overheards 09.27.17

30 year–old–woman: "A little molly never hurt anybody."

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Senior with Goldman Sachs Offer and "Problem Solving Skills" Gets Really, Really Lost in the Quad

"Which one is Fitler?" said the fully grown adult

by DANO MAJOR

Overheards 9.20.17

Archetypal Penn dude: "We're dating. With an asterisk." 

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

My Strange Addiction: Constantly Applying To Jobs On Handshake

You can't beat the rush.

by SHOSHANA STERNSTEIN

Green Day Woken Up, Goes Back to Sleep Until 2020

Green Day band members face a confusing past when they are woken up at the end of September.

by CAMI POTTER

The Streets of Penn: Personified

Ugh, why won't Locust just shut up?

by LILY ZIRLIN

Totally Impossible Penn Riddles

Is it social climbing if you step on an elevated surface?

by

PennConnects


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