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The Ten Phases of Penn Plague

Which of you bastards did this to me?

by TYLER DANIELS

Updated List of Events All Fraternities Must Attend

Workshop: what is a vagina?

by CLAIRE SCHMIDT

Penn's Sceniest Administrator

Rush Chair or Admissions Dean? Hard to tell.

by DANIEL BULPITT

Overheards 10.11.17

Resigned WASP: “I stopped believing when God failed to answer my prayers for good dick.”

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Handshake Renamed OneArmedHug to Foster More Accurate OCR Experience

Putting the "cute" in "recruiting"

by CAMI POTTER

Little Penn Victories

Highbrow can be wholesome too.

by ANGELA LIN

BREAKING: Student “Activist” Selects Frame for Profile Picture That Will Solve Everything

Brb, saving the planet.

by LILY ZIRLIN

Every Kind of Freshman in the Club You Just Joined

Do less.

by MOHAMMAD SAMROZ

That's Such a Fucking Lie

We're here to catch you in all your hyperbolic glory

by NICK CASTORIA

Overheards: 10.4.17

True patriot: "I gave my first handjob on the Washington Monument." 

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Highbrow Throwback: Hoodie Allen

There ain't nothing like a (U)Penn girl. 

by ANNABELLE WILLIAMS

Deconstructing the Pregame

This isn't healthy. 

by DANIEL BULPITT

Fall Break Offers Freshman First Big Chance to Assert Privilege Over Everyone

"I’ve been slowly building on my superiority for a while now."

by CLAIRE SCHMIDT

Unclear if Undergrads Speaking in Code or Just Overusing Penn-centric Abbreviations

He def SABS enough to be PPE.

by SHOSHANA STERNSTEIN

Students Vote to Replace Harvest with SoulCycle; Life-Saving Urgent Care Center Second

I'm not trying to walk back from my work out—I literally JUST worked out 

by CAMI POTTER

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