Every year we’re stunned by Penn students’ sheer inability to submit funny shoutouts. Since you never learn, we’re making an example of some particularly heinous submissions. We’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing at you.
Concerned sophomore: I’m really nervous about passing out in a bush tomorrow.
Harvest bartender: You hit the tip of my wiener.
Sassy senior: Mom, you need to stop captioning your photos with #yolo.
Judgmental SDT sister: She totally waxes her own back.