Every year we’re stunned by Penn students’ sheer inability to submit funny shoutouts. Since you never learn, we’re making an example of some particularly heinous submissions. We’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing at you.
Girl on phone: She wore leopard print to a wake? What the hell is wrong with her?
Sorority girl: Can’t a girl get some decent peanut butter in the Republic?!
Junior girl: I’ll Venmo you a blowjob.
Guy: I just don’t know what to do.
Fratstar: Go take a poopy!
MBA: People without iPhones are ruining my life.