Kylie Penn–er: "He kisses so aggressively that I think he's going to pop my lip injections."
Elmo BBQ attendees about tourist who found his way into the party: "LET HIM STAY. LET HIM STAY."
Sceney jinxer: Jinx, you owe me a gram of coke! That's the Penn version of jinx.
Angry Penn policeman seeing a skateboarder riding down locust: HEY YOU! WATCH YOURSELF SILVER SURFER!
An avid supporter of Penn Public Safety: I was so high last week that I called PennWalk to see if they would pick up my Copa
She's got marble and torment for days.
GrandMILF with no boundaries: How many of you know where your foreskins went?
Where sugar content and the amount of times you say "like" is positively correlated.
Confused soul: Wait, so only one of your moms is a lesbian?
Now that both Homecoming and Halloween are Octover, Highbrow’s here to fill you in on the trick or treats of what happened.
Incest enabler: Come on, you’d totally date him if he wasn’t your brother.
Penn is a microcosm of the real world: It's time we start dressing like it.
Instead of hitting the books, Penn’s been hitting the scene.
Quizzical horndog: Do you think vegans swallow? Like, are they allowed to?
Person we kind of want to die soon: At my funeral, I want people to do lines off my coffin, but instead of cocaine, I want it to be my ashes.
We may only be a few days in, but things have already started getting pumpkin spicy this fall. With the first round of midterms behind us and for most of us, and a lot of repentance before us, it’s time to check our last few sins off our list before it’s too cold to wear crop tops.
Most Relatable Girl Ever: I have no reason to believe this, but I'm like, pretty sure I'm pregnant.
Do you decorate your dorm with Christmas lights or shivs?
What to do when your best friends are in London and you’re sitting in DRL.
Lowbrow's got you covered.