Thanksgiving is the ultimate culmination of Fall. It incorporates everything that everyone likes about this time of year, and as soon as we hit November everyone talks about their favorite dish or favorite tradition or how their mom’s stuffing is just so much better than anything else. But honestly, in my opinion, all stuffing is gross and Thanksgiving is not very fun.
I am aware that disliking Thanksgiving is pretty much as un–American as it gets, but if you were me you’d hate it, too. Imagine being a vegetarian on Thanksgiving. That knocks out about half of the standard dishes, including the turkey which is, obviously, the most important part of the entire meal. Sucks, right? But at least your family will probably make you some vegetarian counterparts since you have a declared eating restriction.
I’m not a vegetarian. So now imagine instead just not liking meat—especially turkey. It’s not that I can’t eat it, it’s that I think it’s gross. So that knocks out about half the dishes, but since it’s just me being picky and annoying, no one makes me alternate dishes and my Thanksgiving meal consists of mashed potatoes, green beans, sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce. And that’s it. While everyone else spends November looking forward to their favorite meal of the year, I spend November dreading the one meal where I actually cannot eat the vast majority of the dishes.
But okay, fine, Thanksgiving isn’t all about the food—it’s about your family coming together and celebrating what you have in life. I get that. Except that, in my family, we do the same thing on Christmas Eve with better food and more people. We celebrate each other then, and people are happier because everyone is happier at Christmas.
Thanksgiving in my family is the definition of meh—ever since the extended family split down the middle circa 2010 there has been a heavy dose of tension served alongside our turkey. Forty percent of the relatives have taken it as an excuse to stop coming. What is supposed to be a happy, thankful time is actually very stressful and unhappy. Two years ago my dad told my grandfather to fuck off at the dinner table. I think you get the idea.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should get rid of Thanksgiving—I’m all for an extended weekend off from school/work/life. What I am saying is that the only purpose Thanksgiving serves in my life is to mark when it becomes socially acceptable to start listening to Christmas music.
