Street promised to help find your next (potentially) unattainable social media crush, and with spring break right around the corner it's time to deliver: just please don't accidentally like an Insta post from their high school years. With thousands—yes, thousands, y'all are thirsty—of submissions, this was no easy task. (Ed. note: This is the closest I'll ever get to knowing what Tyra Banks feels like.)  Read on to meet some of the best men Penn has to offer: Penn's most eligible bachelors 2k17!

Michael Pearson (E '18)

Once this British heartthrob locks eyes with you, you're done for. He's a mechanical engineer with hips that he claims "don't lie." If you're down to find out what this means, are chill, and love to cook (a good steak, hint hint?) then look no further. Disclaimer: don't comment on his accent (we know, just try your best). 

_____ is a deal-breaker? 

Clapping at the end of a flight.

How does one get your attention? 

Nice eyes.

Best Feature

My hips! They can shake like Shakira.

What would you say you sound like in bed?

A mix between Brad Pitt and a bull horn. 

Vinesh Arun (C '18)

This smooth talking member of Penn Dhamaka will sweep you off your feet with his freestyle moves, and effortlessly put–together charm. With a “look good, feel good” philosophy he is sure to impress, both on the dance floor and off. With that smile, anything’s possible.

What catches your eye?

A girl that looks good at a 9 a.m., that’s impressive.

Three characteristics you look for in a girl?

Doesn’t take life too seriously, can laugh at herself, and looks hot in glasses.

Anything you’d like to tell the ladies

This is my chance to escape an arranged marriage.

Brendan Taliaferro (C '19)

If you’re looking for a southern gentleman who sounds like a cross between "Barack Obama giving a speech and Maria Sharapova serving a ball" in bed, then look no further. As a member of Mask and Wig, a Civic Scholar, a Benjamin Franklin Scholar, member of MARS, and research assistant on American religious denominations, this sophomore is definitely the full package.

Street: What’s your ideal meet–cute?

BT: We bump into each other in a rooftop bar in Prague. I spill my drink all over him, and the rest is history.

Street: What’s your ideal date?

BT: Am I allowed to say smoke a joint and watch the sunset?

Street: If you were a kitchen appliance which one would you be?

BT: I’d be a blender because I’m really great at...

Street: Tearing people apart?

BT: No, at bringing people together.

Street: What can you bring to the table in a relationship?

BT: I’m a great listener. I like to think I’m really nice, but I also––hmm––no. I like to cook. I always have something to say, and I’m very gentle, but I don’t mind getting rough.

Tabong Kima (C, W '17)

This Fiji senior’s idea of the perfect date includes the ballet and French film festivals. He’s also a member of the Penn Rugby Team. Thoughtful, cultured AND athletic?! Oh my.

What is your best feature?

For the last week my beard has been coming in really strong.

How does one get your attention?

You know how on Locust everyone will be walking one way on one side, and the other way on the other, and then there’s just that one person who is walking the wrong direction on the other side. That person.

What are three qualities that describe your dream partner?

Smart, passionate about what they do, someone who is down to do things that don’t necessarily make sense.

________ is a total deal breaker?

Going to bed at 9:00 p.m.

Amine Sahmoud (C '17)

Between his pancreatic cancer research and managing to make it to the second round of auditions to The Voice, it’s no wonder this sultry singer hasn’t been tied down yet––but don’t worry he still has time for romance post–Dischord rehearsal.

Street: If you were an animal, which one would you be and why?

Amine Sahmoud: If I’m being realistic, I’m a panda because I’m like so lazy, and I don’t like doing anything, but that’s not––well, I’d rather be like, you know like, a panther. But that’s not who I am and I’ve got to be true to it.

Street: What song would you sing in a lip sync battle?

AS: Do you know that song, that song that’s like ‘Once upon a time, not long ago, I was a hoe,’ it’s called ‘Once Upon a Time,’ and then in parenthesis ‘not long ago,’ and then you know what’s coming. I’ll send you the link, it’s a good song. Should I play it?

Street: What can you bring to the table in a relationship?

AS: Let’s go there. I can bring laughter, and I can bring...literally that’s it. That’s so sad. What do I have to offer?

Street: You can serenade them.

AS: That’s so fucking true. I can serenade, I can make them laugh, I can always be there if they want to like, eat some food.

Street: What would you say you sound like in bed?

AS: So you know like Spongebob’s laugh? I’m just kidding. But can you imagine? But mine would be more of a sultry, soulful, endearing laugh.

Ross Wilson (C '18)

You know the hot bartender/bouncer at Smokes' you’ve probably slipped your number to on an old receipt? This is him. He also runs competitively for three different sports' teams at Penn. He can play any John Mayer song on the guitar—but only for ten seconds. And the formula for his heart is simple: heart = 1.5 L bottle of Barefoot + Giorgio’s at 13th and Pine.

How could someone get your attention?

A good wink and a smile from across the bar. Or just like being generally confident and coming to me and striking up a conversation, because I really enjoy talking to people.

So how many times have people slipped you their number at Smokes'?

Probably four or five.

So what line should someone write on the note to make you more inclined to text them?

I’ve never had anything written there. But a nice compliment goes a long way. Or just something really out there and funny. That would probably catch my eye.

Celebrity crush?

A combination of Rihanna and Emma Roberts. With the brains of Emma Watson.  

Michael Wen (W '17)

This California native still manages to spend most of his time in the pool as a member of Penn's swim team, where he accounts for about 80% of the steam in the Pottruck sauna. Even though he's studying Finance in Wharton, he may have been your TA for a computer science class or two.

What are attractive qualities in an ideal partner? 

Interesting, but also a little spicy. Like Tabasco or hot sauce.

How can someone get your attention?

They would probably get my attention if they shouted. So if they yelled "HEY!"

Who's your celebrity crush?

Zac Efron. Wait, should I say a girl? No, Zac Efron. 

Check out the bachelors in action below! 


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