Word on the street: Gimme shelter
Mick Jagger is used to having younger women fall in love with him, but my first infatuation was premature even for Mick -- I was nine years old.
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Mick Jagger is used to having younger women fall in love with him, but my first infatuation was premature even for Mick -- I was nine years old.
The first guy ever to run a marathon made it 26 miles and promptly died -- not a good day for ol' Philippine. From what I know, Greeks in the fifth century B.C. tended to work out naked, so I'd like to think there was at least a pleasant breeze for the last few miles. Getting buff in the buff really could go either way, but dying is pretty much a permanent deal.
As a clumsy person, I appreciate the art of falling. But as an exceptionally clumsy person, I am running out of locations to bruise or embarrass myself. If your life is an unintentional slapstick routine like mine, or you too lack the hand eye coordination to smack a decent 'high five,' then you may have also hoped for a double to do it for you.
What do you do when the sweatshop goes out to lunch? Osh! Kosh! By! Gosh! Do it yourself. Even if you can't magnadoodle your class notes in perfect calligraphy, you still should shake it up, and do a little something creative once in a while.
God, if you are a feminist please do not strike me down with your giant field hockey stick. Because, I tend to believe that for girls, hooking up is a lot more about ego, and for boys about unhooking bras. There are sexceptioptional women out there, and maybe some sensitive boys, but most of us are just dressing the part.
Turning Japanese is difficult. Even if you think that you are, you probably are not. Even if you really think so, you most likely won't. Other than the obvious reasons, Japan is a notoriously homogenous society. So attempting to 'turn Japanese' is as fruitless as the activity the Vapors' 1980's hit really describes. Though no one said you won't get off trying.
Ever since my bamboo plant "Cactus" was featured in last week's Ego section on "Best Looking Pets," my stalky companion has developed a little ego of her own. But unlike the botanical photography here at Street, resident artist Susan Abrams photographs mist from a certain printing technique called "applied silver emulsion," not airbrushing. (Sorry, Cactus.)
Woof. Chirp. Meow. These are common sounds house pets make. Or maybe we should ask the real experts: college kid know-it-all's who actually have pets at school. I'm not just talking about the fleet of rodents that come gratis with every Campus Apartments lease either.
When Eve plucked the apple from the tree in the Garden of Eden so many spring seasons ago, she was hungry. Not for knowledge, as your Rabbi might mislead you, but for fashion. Sorry to take biblical and fashion scholarship by storm (again) -- but really, how many ways can you wear a fig leaf?
Ever since my parents found out about the Internet, and, clever elders that they are, realized they could read my contributions to Street online, penning my Spring Break memoirs has risks. But given the fact I will be spending this break at home in Chicago, watching my past two Spring experiences reenacted on MTV, I figure I've got time to smooth things over -- or convince them I was tricked into writing this, which sometimes works.
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