Shoutouts Submission: Spring 2017
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Never swam in the bio pond? Still haven't had sex under the button? Now's your chance to send off our seniors with a bang—help Street compile the essential Penn bucket list. Help out those seniors who are woefully behind, or the Class of 2021 that's just trying to get started by submitting everything someone has to do before they graduate.
Wall Street–bound Whartonite: Ugh, these jobs are all public interest, and I have no interest in helping the public.
Girl who actually knows what goes on inside of that place: Last week I threw up in Perry World House.
An OCRsexual girl: His LinkedIn is turning me on.
The younger, hipper version of Forbes 30 Under 30—just with more Quakers and (slightly) fewer billionaires.
The Virgin Mary herself: What if I just become a born–again virgin? People do that, right? Like, I'm just going to profess myself a virgin.
You know that cute guy you see in front of Frontera? The hottie you once met in recitation but then you dropped the class because you'd already filled that sector, but then when you see him on Locust you kind of hope he recognizes you? That guy in Pottruck that's always working out, but it doesn't seem like it's because he's vain, it's just because he's really interested in his physical health, and also he has nice arms?
Hit it: Yellow and Green
There's no shame in staying in, putting on your comfiest pajamas and parking yourself in front of the TV. There's also no shame in doing this alone, on a Friday night, with a joint or two. Light up and tune into our favorite picks.
Hit it: Cuffing season
After spending too much time pretending like Penn actually has a syllabus week (or two), it’s time to start acting like the well–brought–up, sophisticated geniuses we all think we are. While we should've been hitting Van Pelt, we decided to do what we do best and hit the floor, the sidewalk, HUP, and any of the other places one finds themselves at 2 a.m, on a Friday night. For some, the biggest mistake of the weekend was waiting for that Greek Lady omelette for 45 minutes. For others, the word “mistake” doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Wharton students are feeling something nobody knew they were capable of: shame. In the week after President Trump’s inauguration, many students have noticed a curious phenomenon. When asked where they attend school, instead of saying “Wharton” they now answer with a resounding “University of Pennsylvania.”
Dear Mr. Trump,
At exactly 12:01 p.m. last Friday, the frantic five–hour process to move Barack Obama out and Donald Trump into the White House began.
Hit it: House Party
In a press release this morning, President Amy Gutmann announced that Van Pelt will be torn down and replaced with a Trump Hotel and Golf Course.
I was once a male sugar baby—well, a potential one. In search of financial stability, and and inspired by @yungfumes on Snapchat (an Internet personality who's open about her sugar baby, stripper and student lifestyle), I made an account on seekingarrangement.com and started looking for a sugar daddy.
College students have long ago discovered the effect marijuana has on your taste buds and appetite, but with the legalization of marijuana, weed and food pairings have become part of an upscale dining trend in Colorado. At Cultivating Spirits, food, wine and weed pairing dinners are sold to interested diners from about $250–$450 per person. The website claims that these pairings can be the next big trend in dining, and judging by a few gushing Yelp reviews—and even more on Facebook—customers agree. But until marijuana becomes decriminalized in Philly, we're left to our own devices to whip up these combos.
Amy Gutmann and several other high–ranking Penn officials, including Provost Vincent Price, were spotted earlier today at the grand re–opening of Sweetgreen. Gutmann and her colleagues made impromptu speeches to the crowd gathered to celebrate the popular salad chain’s recent renovation.
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