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(12/01/16 9:36am)
Wannabe–headless Nick: You would think, wouldn’t you, that getting hit 45 times in the neck with a blunt axe would qualify you to join the Headless Hunt? Half an inch of skin and sinew holding my neck on… Most people would think that’s good and beheaded.
(12/01/16 9:33am)
The following article was found in the late Professor Quirrel’s desk. It is believed that he planned to submit it to the May 1999 issue of the notable wizarding periodical, DADAD (Defense Against the Dark Arts Digest).
(12/01/16 9:43am)
Junior Sam Lestrange had a rude awakening during On–Campus Recruiting this semester. He noticed some “distinctive” components of the interviews that he had not prepared for.
(12/01/16 8:17am)
Clarissa Hufflebum (C '18) was finishing up her fall semester abroad at King's College London when she came to an earth–shattering realization: "Guys, wizards are real."
(12/01/16 9:00am)
So, you went on a trip abroad after graduation to celebrate seven grueling years at one of the most poorly regulated schools in wizarding history. You may have gone to the ruins of Atlantis or visited a remote monastery in Tibet. Maybe you hiked in an isolated forest in Albania. Nonetheless, you came back as the host to a dark wizard’s wandering soul, with a second face on the back of your head.
(12/01/16 8:51am)
Street: Why did you decide to study at Penn?
(11/17/16 8:34am)
It’s been a long week. We elected a tangerine for President, the bees are still dying at an alarming rate and apparently the real story of Thanksgiving is actually kind of sad because the Pilgrims and Native Americans never actually had a turkey dinner together, what the fuck. Don’t worry, though. We’ve got a piping hot serving of gossip to tide you over until your own needless turkey murder day Thanksgiving.
(11/17/16 7:54am)
Most Likely to Fix American Politics: Max Levy
(11/12/16 6:27pm)
The need for hot goss may have been Trumped by our reflections issue last week, but Highbrow's back with the Roundup to share some Hillaryous stories that you just couldn't miss out on.
(11/07/16 6:33am)
Need help? Check out our Spring 2016 Shoutouts here, and our Fall 2015 Shoutouts here.
(11/17/16 6:51am)
When Steve Aoki cancelled his appearance at an off–campus fraternity downtown two weeks ago, the frat scrambled to find a replacement. Straight off their Fall show, the Looney Tunes, Penn’s premiere a cappella group known for being not Off the Beat, volunteered to fill the vacant spot. The party–goers were unaware of the change, however, and many were met with confusion as the undergraduate singing group took the stage.
(11/17/16 6:49am)
I’ve heard a lot of people say that they found their sisters after rushing a sorority at Penn. They’ll say that first semester was a little tough—they were away from family and they felt isolated, like no one understood them. Then they joined a sorority and their worlds turned upside down. They realized they haven’t just made ordinary bonds with these girls, but instead they’ve joined a sisterhood.
(11/17/16 6:45am)
Step 1: Set your alarm, “You’re So Vain.”
(11/17/16 6:48am)
Students often lament their susceptibility to procrastination when it comes to completing assignments for class, though this apparently is not a worry of theirs when preparing for Spring Fling. Although the week of bacchic celebrations typically takes place at the end of April, students are starting the festivities now.
(11/17/16 7:11am)
Everyone remembers the heartache of their first college dorm. It was minuscule, with nearly all space monopolized by the prescribed bed, nightstand and desk combination. It had walls painted a nightmarish shade of brownish green or maybe aquamarine with miscellaneous holes and scratches speckled across them. The single window was only a slit hardly yielding any light and its screen was left leaning against a wall, uninstalled. Without any air conditioning, the air of the late Philadelphia summer was stagnant and heavy in that tiny room, crammed full of your family. You remember wondering then if it were too soon to transfer…
(11/04/16 5:49am)
Thank you for voting for this year's senior superlative nominations! Be sure to grab our issue on November 17 to see the winners!
(11/03/16 7:22am)
1. Befriend that person in recitation who does all the reading. Kidnap them.
(11/03/16 8:13am)
What you need: love of country, respect for the democratic process, an unfounded mistrust of “liberal media” and all the alcohol you can buy in a capitalist economy.
(11/03/16 8:09am)
Natasha Boulé is a senior in the Huntsman Program hailing from Paris, France. Her parents sent her to Penn so she could soak up the American culture for four years, hoping she might get exposed to new ways of life. As a freshman, she thrived in the program, enjoyed living in her single in the quad and even branched out a little by rushing. After joining Kappa Alpha Theta, however, she only befriended about 50 percent of the sorority, though it is unclear why only half appealed to her. From sophomore year to senior year, she spent most of her time in Huntsman, Castle/Owls/Zete or hanging out in her room in Domus. It was not until senior year, when she accidentally waved to someone on Locust (who was evidently not her friend Isa), that she met a real live human American. Street caught up with Natasha to find out more about her experience.
(11/03/16 8:18am)
You can FINALLY get lunch with Julie. Julie has been begging you for lunch for weeks. You see her on Locust Walk as you’re running to "Sex and Human Nature" and she literally always asks you for lunch plans. But you always get to say no because you’re too busy. Now you’re not too busy. Sucks.