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(11/03/16 8:18am)
You can FINALLY get lunch with Julie. Julie has been begging you for lunch for weeks. You see her on Locust Walk as you’re running to "Sex and Human Nature" and she literally always asks you for lunch plans. But you always get to say no because you’re too busy. Now you’re not too busy. Sucks.
(10/30/16 5:54pm)
You may hope that people will remember your time at Penn for your academic accomplishments and job offers, but we all know it will really be for which Senior Superlative you win. Remember, Penn is fleeting but Superlatives are forever. Nominate the best, the worst, the most outrageous below.
(10/27/16 3:06pm)
PC Girl: It’s a really interesting story. I was going to say ‘fun story’ but, like, it involves slavery, so I feel like I shouldn’t put those two words in the same sentence.
(10/24/16 10:52pm)
Thank you for your interest in our dorm room decor contest! Unfortunately, submissions for this contest have closed. But, be sure to check out our issue on Nov. 10th to read about the winners!
(10/27/16 8:13am)
Difficult choices lie ahead for many Penn undergraduates. In a scheduling upset that will have long–lasting consequences, Halloween and Homecoming will occur on the same weekend. Confusion and chaos are already apparent. “What am I supposed to be? Sexy Penn tour guide?” wondered a visibly upset College junior.
(10/27/16 9:12am)
Take back Halloween from the sexy ebola nurses and sexy pizza rat outfits of yesteryear. Here are some ideas for Halloween mixers that you can be proud of.
(10/27/16 8:57am)
Recently, clown panic has taken the United States by storm, fueling both unnecessary fear and fascination nationwide. Now, police say, these clowns are running for president.
(10/27/16 7:54am)
At a campaign rally for Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump in the Philadelphia suburb of Aston, PA, last Tuesday, freshman and avid Trump supporter, Lucas Weiner (C '20), called the University of Pennsylvania’s Medical Emergency Response Team (MERT) to attend to the unwell candidate.
(10/20/16 8:00am)
This weekend, children of proud Penn parents turned legacy into legendary when they decided to put generations of Penn partying together. In order to let you know what went down this weekend, Highbrow’s here to get unfiltered.
(10/20/16 7:11am)
Infinity scarf: As a believer in the practices of Buddha, you desire to live life as a free spirit. You take your accessories almost as seriously as you take doing yoga and eating quinoa. Your circle scarf symbolizes rebirth. It’s more than just a scarf, it’s a mindset.
(10/20/16 6:02am)
It’s hard to be self–aware. It’s harder to realize that you’re not a human and actually a pile of fallen leaves.
(10/20/16 7:34am)
Worried about youth voter turnout on election day, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has decided to partner up with the social media sensation “I’m Shmacked” for a promotional video. For the next two weeks, Secretary Clinton will be touring the country with her campaign team, staying on college campuses. Since millennials have not been engaged through traditional campaign methods, the presidential nominee will be attending specially–themed fraternity parties. The Secretary will be on Penn’s campus this coming weekend. Cognizant of the popularity of themed parties, she has decided to title the event “Susan B. Anthonies and IUD’s.”
(10/13/16 10:57am)
Because the suggestive eggplant posters only tell you so much.
(10/13/16 9:44am)
You walk outside and breathe the crisp autumn air. There’s still a faint smell of beer–tainted piss because, after all, you’re at Penn. YET, there’s a coolness to the atmosphere. Pumpkin spiced latte in hand, you think you’re winning. It’s only when you realize that you have to find a place to inhabit next year that your bubble o’ bliss pops. October is a frightening month––not because of Hallow’s Eve, but because you have to FIND HOUSING NOW, BITCH. Street welcomes you, your best friends and that friend you keep trying to get rid of to… STREET’S OFFICIAL GUIDE TO HOUSING:
(10/13/16 11:34am)
After an incident last Wednesday evening, one Penn student will never be the same. While trying to find a pregame, Alec Waspstein (SEAS ‘18) was shocked when he looked down at Google Maps and realized he was on 43rd Street and Baltimore. “I feel like it gave me a whole new perspective on Philly. I really know the city now,” said Waspstein, with great pride in his voice. Waspstein was not going to let the experience pass him by. He immediately changed his Tinder bio to reflect his newfound love of urban travel.
(10/13/16 8:48am)
Hide the needles and throw out those skulls. The weekend will go much smoother if your mom doesn’t find your bondage paraphernalia.
(09/29/16 8:17am)
Delving into the world of Goldman Sachs offers, Cartier love bracelets and all things ostentatious and obnoxious at Penn, the @yungbenfranklin
Instagram is a cross between expert trolling and actual social commentary. The account, known for its Penn–centric and often Greek–centric memes,
has garnered thousands of followers (4,215 to date) and spawned several copycat accounts. Ego decided to sit down with the student behind @yungbenfranklin
to get the full scoop on what it's like to run the account.
(09/29/16 9:05am)
While you guys were getting trumped up this
weekend, we’ve been trickling down the deets. Some
of you might think your weekends were almost as irrelephant
as the debate, but like Hillary in a power
pantsuit, you still managed to make yourselves look
like a bunch of asses. Let it be known that Highbrow’s
always watching, so unLes(ter) you have to, don’t put
your recklessness on Holt.
(09/29/16 8:52am)
Girl talking about friend’s past date: One woman’s champagne provider is another one’s aggressive DFMO.
(09/29/16 7:42am)
Street: Thanks for sitting
down with us today, Mr…
uh…Riddle? Is that right?