34th Street Magazine

The Weed Survey

(09/25/14 4:12am)

It would seem that ivy isn't the only greenery that Penn students are familiar with...Survey n=690

https://www.34st.com/article/2014/09/the-weed-survey

Dear readers: you’re the Rosh Hashanah to my Yom Kippur. The new year brings a new Highbrow, and our gossip will be juicier than your apples and honey. But don’t be a schmuck—unless you want to be in the Round Up.

https://www.34st.com/article/2014/09/the-round-up-09-25-14

Playlist Of The Wee(d)k: 9/25

(09/25/14 8:30am)

In honor of our weed feature this week, we here at Music wanted to give you an appropriate soundtrack. Featuring some of this week's new releases (alt-J, Silva, Groundislava) and some other mellow, cloud–surfing jams, this playlist has the power to form a drum circle at the biopond by itself.

https://www.34st.com/article/2014/09/playlist-of-the-week-9-25

#Streeeats: Pumpkin Blondies

(09/25/14 4:15am)

Pumpkin Blondies:

https://www.34st.com/article/2014/09/recipe-of-the-week-09-25-pumpkin-blondies

Locust Lexicon

(09/25/14 11:33am)

PILF: Professor I’d Like to Fuck

https://www.34st.com/article/2014/09/new-locust-lexicon

Overheards: 09.25.2014

(09/25/14 10:27am)

Asian SDT: If I learn Hebrew does that make me eligible for Birthright?

https://www.34st.com/article/2014/09/overheards-09-25-2014

Penn and Ink

(09/25/14 6:00am)

Name: Nolan Burger

https://www.34st.com/article/2014/09/penn-and-ink-9-25-2014

Ego of the Week: Sarah Lindstedt

(09/25/14 6:00am)

Street: Tell us about Penny Loafers. Where do you perform?

https://www.34st.com/article/2014/09/ego-of-the-week-sarah-lindstedt-9-25-2014

Fall Foods Around the World

(09/25/14 4:20am)

Iran:

https://www.34st.com/article/2014/09/fall-foods-around-the-world

In Search of a Better Green

(09/25/14 4:22am)

Schuylkill River Park

https://www.34st.com/article/2014/09/better-parks-9-25-2014

How to turn your pleeb Domus room into something actually livable

(09/25/14 6:00am)

Step 1:

https://www.34st.com/article/2014/09/pleeb-domus

You Are Cordially Invited

(09/25/14 6:00am)

...to the joining in marriage of Mister Charles Vandenheuvel Moneypants III and Miss Rachel Goldstein. The happy couple met at the University of Pennsylvania, as apparently 50% of assholes do. Mr. Moneypants III was taken by Ms. Goldstein's grace and beauty when he spied her dancing on an elevated surface at a popular Philadelphia nightclub. Rumor has it that the two will be honeymooning on the island of Mykonos, which Mr. Moneypants II recently acquired as part of his purchase of the sovereign nation of Greece. The Goldstein kvelled to Forbes magazine that he got a great deal on it. Ms. Goldstein will be resplendent in a gown fashioned from albino tiger fur designed by Donald Trump as part of his new line, Look Super Good And Classy On Your Wedding Day. This truly is a love–conquers–all story; Ms. Goldstein, reached for comment, noted, “He’s not Jewish, but it’s a mitzvah to marry up.”

https://www.34st.com/article/2014/09/cordially-turning-up

Peasants @ Penn

(09/25/14 6:00am)

Know Your Place! As an integral part of the feudalist system, you are bound to your lord, and to the land itself. Leaving your fields, barn or study carrel will result in death most certain.

https://www.34st.com/article/2014/09/stop-saying-youre-poor