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(11/10/16 10:00am)
My first kiss was with a boy who told me I was lucky he didn’t rape me. We were on a wooden bench in my high school after track practice; he felt me up in my spandex and sports bra, and I thought that was some form of being cherished. He tried to push his fingers inside my underwear. When I said no — once, twice —, he shook his head, murmured, “Good thing you’re with me and not some of my friends.” He kissed me on my forehead. “Some guys I know, they’d be like — vagina!” And with his hands, he mimed assaulting me.
(11/10/16 3:00pm)
America was born in Philadelphia, a city that stands for liberty, civil rights and unity. It was here that we, an Arab-Jewish couple, could love each other despite differences in nationality, ethnicity, religion and politics. In a world that fights against this love, we found a bond in this city and this country.
(10/27/16 9:26am)
The half–time horn blares, and I step away from the crowd. I’ve just finished posing for pictures with Amy Gutmann, a trustee or two and a cluster of wealthy donors. All day, I’ve fought off hordes of children, parents and students, all jostling in front of each other to get a photo with me. But as I walk back to the locker room where I peel off the Quaker mascot costume, I feel incredibly lonely.
(09/15/16 6:29am)
Fifty percent of people in this world own one, yet they are still a taboo subject in many ways. For example, no one ever talks about the fact that, sometimes, they just don’t quite work properly. Some have trouble lubricating, some are prone to UTIs or yeast infections and some get extremely painful or heavy periods while others go two years without one! Aren’t vaginas so weird? A lot of women have painful sex but—due to these taboos—are too afraid to talk about it. Conditions such as vulvademia medically explain some cases of painful sex, but there is also a lot of misinformation and misuse out there, so it’s important to be open and honest with yourself and your partner(s). Fun fact: Not only can there be misuse when it comes to smushing our parts together, but there can also be overuse. Last year, my gynecologist told me not to have sex for two weeks, because she said I had an “overuse injury.” Apparently, vaginas aren’t really meant to have sex all that much. In fact, the normal “sex act” (intercourse) is only supposed to last three to five minutes! Anyway. Moving on.
(09/08/16 8:38am)
“She Comes First” by clinical sexologist Ian Kerner is a guide to administering oral sex to women. We had two Penn students read it. Here are their responses:
(09/01/16 5:40am)
Call them what you want: fuck buddies,
friends with benefits, side hoes...but
however you refer to your lovers, casual
relationships are hard. Even so, having a
consistent yet flexible, and comfortable
yet unattached hookup buddy is the
dream for many of us. But it isn’t always
sunshine and multiple orgasms—almost
inevitably it seems like one (or god forbid,
both) of you will catch feelings.
(07/14/16 1:14pm)
When I first began my college search, I sought a small school where learning trumped competition and socioeconomic differences. However, when I discussed the matter with my family and friends everyone said, “If you attend an Ivy, you’re bound to be successful.” At the time, my grades were great, but they hadn’t always been– physics is hard. Therefore, the Ivies I could get into were limited. My admissions counselor said that Penn was probably my only option. So, on an October afternoon in 2013, I applied Early Decision to the University of Pennsylvania.
(07/06/16 7:52pm)
Last summer was my victory lap. I had my valedictorian stole on my shoulders, my Penn acceptance in hand and a new internship on my LinkedIn. One year later, I am doing the biggest mistake Career Services can tell you: repeating an internship. Sure I have a couple other gigs on my plate, and I probably sound horribly pretentious for complaining about even having an internship, but I am that pre-professional, perfectionist Penn student. You might be one, too.
(07/07/16 2:47am)
I recently was going through my Google Drive, cleaning up the mess of documents and spreadsheets from the year, when I found a document that I had never seen before. I opened it, and I was horrified to see that it was a long letter from my ex.
(07/07/16 8:59am)
My mother always told me, "Don't send naked pictures because they will get out and you will be known as 'The Boob.'"
(06/09/16 1:25am)
DCOMS are back, bitches. From Memorial Day Weekend through the month of June, Disney is airing our favorite Disney Channel Original Movies (hence the term DCOMs, for those who didn't have a childhood), and we're celebrating the best way we know how: by getting our staff drunk and recording our stream of consciousness. Here's one intrepid journalist's breakdown of "Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century", aka that movie that made the words "Zetus Lupetus!" permanent fixtures in your vocab.
(04/21/16 1:12am)
It’s an age old question. After giving another blowjob to the guy I was seeing (but not dating) and having it end in an unpalatable load of jizz in my mouth, I found myself thinking of this question a lot. And I wasn’t the only one. “Why does yours taste so much better than mine?” Patrick (not his real name) had asked. I mentioned I eat a lot of pineapple, and so we formulated an experiment to test if that had anything to do with it. As a perfectionist engineer, I didn’t fuck around when it came to making this a highly scientific, month–long endeavor. I’m talking spreadsheets, measurements, data collection, the whole nine yards (or seven inches in our case). Here’s how it—and we—went down:
(04/14/16 7:41am)
You are doing the right thing. You are drunk; so drunk that your thoughts slap against each other, so drunk that the smack of your Converse against the Quad bricks is a rhythm and your body is on autopilot and every breath you gulp tastes like the Dixie cup of the coconut rum you downed at the last house party. You are clinging to your consciousness. It is a Saturday night, freshman year, and the friend you’ve known for months says he won’t try to kiss you again; he’ll just let you crash on his floor. You are too gone to walk home—you are being responsible. He looks over his shoulder while you swipe in. He opens the door for you and lets you go first.
(04/07/16 9:33am)
I might not be an avid smoker, but I do know that when I get high, all I want to do is eat, sleep, watch Animal Planet or—if I’m feeling ambitious—ramble about some high thought that does not actually make sense.
(04/07/16 9:36am)
If there’s one thing the vast majority of college students can agree upon, it’s that sex rocks. Yeah, you might have a few awkward/random/mortifying sexual encounters, but on the whole, sex is… orgasmic. And if you don’t think so, you’re doing it wrong. But there’s something that could definitely help your cause: weed.
(03/31/16 2:03am)
To the Edward Scissor–Tongues of our generation,
(02/25/16 12:29pm)
Dear Miss Appropriation,
(02/18/16 8:04am)
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to
take acid and molly at the same time? As more and more drugs get outlawed, people have
turned to less conventional compounds to trip on. One of these drugs is a
research chemical (which are chemical compounds synthesized by scientists in fancy-ass laboratories) called 25I–NBOMe that has only been taken recreationally
since about 2010. 25i, and its close relatives 2cb and 2c, have been experiencing
a steady increase in popularity as people search for new ways to get high. Many
people who take 25i describe it as a comfortable cross between acid and molly, experiencing
effects of both but at a lower intensity. It can be taken in a variety of
different ways, including sublingually, in the buccal space (Ed note: that means in your cheek, #educateyourself) or nasally. In the United States, 25i (and
other members of the 2c family) has been added
temporarily to the list of Schedule I controlled substances, such as DMT, LSD, MDMA, PCP and even good ol' THC. That doesn't mean,
though, that Penn students don't have access to it.
(02/11/16 2:36am)
One morning my sophomore
year I woke up with a
bruise on my boob. A large,
unsightly blob, right there on
my left tit. My initial reaction?
Well...this is concerning.
(02/11/16 5:13pm)
In the Talmudic literature we studied at my Jewish day school, I learned that a man who desires to have extramarital sex with a woman should “die rather than she should yield.”