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Room: Five Pretty Princesses

Dan: Before we get started I just wanted to clear the air and say that yes, we are all eligible bachelors. So tell me about this princesses poster on the door. Andy: We woke up one morning and it was just there.

by BETH FALKOF

Two Tables

While reading the following play, keep in mind that, unlike a novel, a short story or a poem, a play script is not at all a finished product.

by 34TH STREET

Streetbeats: The week in news

Break a leg Elian. The former Cuban refugee's Miami home is being transformed into a tourist site.

by 34TH STREET

Streetscenes: No Thanks

Melissa Byrne College of General Studies, '03 "I've been in situations where you've gotta hand out and be active at protests where people are actually organizing against you, so I mean this is a piece of cake.... I mean, whatever, if someone doesn't take it... it's not a big deal." "I'm not seeking their approval, so I mean, they're not rejecting me, they're just showing their own ignorance and their own stubbornness.... You're at this university--such a privilege to be at this university--either as a student or as a professor, and if you're not being open-minded to other people's ideas, then it's a shame that you're here because there are other people who could be doing and enjoying this place a lot more than you as you're walking down and like, being in your own world because you're better than everyone else." "Keep your mind open.... These aren't freaks coming out of nowhere.... Most of the stuff is all grounded in truth--it's the way you look at it.

by BETH FALKOF

Jetez La Vache!

Street realizes that it can seem daunting to be surrounded by such a plethora of brilliant and inquisitive minds--from the brimming intellectual curiosity of Wharton students and the singularly profound Penn social interactions that exist as relief from deep thinking and subsequent introspective dilemmas.

by 34TH STREET

Lifestyles of the rich and useless wand-waving talking vaginas

Street has once again deployed its award-winning team of investigative journalists deep into irrelevant territory.

by 34TH STREET

Recipe: Chicken Will Not Give You An STD

Neanderthal man could kick your ass. He didn't eat salads from Fresh Grocer or drink square bottles of Fiji water.

by DAVID YANKELEWITZ

Get A Nightlife: 'Una tequila, dos equis, floor...'

The Mexican Post 104 Chestnut Street 215-923-5233 After getting the once-over for failing to conform to the yuppie, monochrome, slick standard of style at the last bar I went to, it was quite a relief to wear jeans to Old City's Mexican Post and be allowed to have a seat without any resistance.

by LISA CHENG

Yarn: An Exercise In Still Life: That Dead Mouse on 38th and Sansom

On my first day back at Penn, I tripped over a dead mouse. I was wearing flip-flops. At the corner of 38th and Sansom, I felt something wet and furry brush against my big toe, and then I fell down.

by TAMI FERTIG

The Street guide to semi-rational paranoia

We here at Street know that in these crazy days, you might find it difficult to keep a calm head on your shoulders.

by 34TH STREET

Interview: What Does It All Mean?

At first glance, Justin Theroux looks like he was born and bred to play Adam Kesher, the movie director in David Lynch's latest whacked-out film, Mulholland Drive.

by NAOMI SCHWARZ

Sour Cream or Onion?

The story of the Urban Nutrition Initiative is not just about this oasis of green, located at 36th and Filbert streets.

by GREGORY RICHARDS

Batman Saves the Day

When I was growing up, my soul and I had a deal--I didn't kill him by drinking rat poison, and he didn't bother me with any of that conscience crap.

by DAVID YANKELEWITZ

Derailing PennTRAK

We at Street would like to see our readership gainfully employed come May, so we've scoured the depths of the third bolgia of PennTRAK to discover jobs that would even make Dante proud.

by JARROD KOENIG

Streetscenes: On the sneak tip

"I started DJ'ing freshman year, like 1999 for me, that spring.... I did the same show that I do now, but it was just a little bit reduced, its isn't as big as it is now.... My show is The Storm [hip-hop, R&B, underground rap, dance hall, and reggae], usually comes on Thursdays 8 to 10 [p.m.], but sometimes I go in the studio like after hours and I'll go and, you know, make a little quiet storm, like I'll do R&B for a little bit, just on the sneak tip." "Sometimes we'll have guests in the studio..., like I'll put a beat on and they'll freestyle to it and I remember a couple weeks ago we had somebody come in and we had a freestyle, and we have Instant Messenger in the studio, so they would tell us how the guy was doing and we had two people, and one guy was real good and the other guy was OK, I guess, and the guy on Instant Messenger was letting us know about that..." "It's on channel 2, ResNet... and www.wqhs.org, we're working on it right now so we're gonna try and get some better reception so people can hear it on the radio on campus and off campus.... Watch out for us because we've been sleeping for a long time and it's about time for us to wake up and take this campus over like we're supposed to."

by BETH FALKOF

Room: Asian boys can't fight

Room: 102 Ware College HouseRoom cohabitants: Wharton sophomore Lisa Chang from Dallas, TX and Huntsman sophomore Esther Hsu from Westchester, PA. What music were you guys listening to when decorating? Esther: Asian music actually.

by SCOTT HALLER

wots: Grumpy old men

Strolling along Locust Walk the other day, I came to an epiphany. This wasn't just another one of my lame-ass "Whoops, I forgot to write my term paper" or "Two girls at once... sure, why not?" epiphanies.

by GREGORY WONG

SPEC on SPEC

Further continuing our tradition of highlighting rampant stupidity wherever and whenever it rears its stupid head, Street is casting its peripheral focus on Penn's Social Planning and Events Committee.

by 34TH STREET

Streetbeats: The week in news

Spreading Your Seed Freshman Elections. After an intensely pitched contest, Matt Klapper has claimed victory as Class President.

by 34TH STREET

"I'm taking the day off."

Yep, it's fall break. So we're taking the week off. In the meanwhile, enjoy last week's --street-- and feel free to search through our archives.

by 34TH STREET

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