We may call ourselves "social," but the fact is that, for better or for worse, we are an Ivy. And though it is Penn's Ivy-ness that drew us here, it is also this same quality that tortures us most on Spring Fling weekend.
Consider Flinging with College senior and FlingSafe emeritus Josh Matz. He's infectious.
Street: Looking forward to Fling?
Joshua Matz: I don't think I've done Fling since freshman year.
Street: Where did you live freshman year?
JM: I was in the Quad in the residential program for the study of emerging infectious diseases.
Arjun Srinivas, a senior member of Dhamaka, Penn's all-male South Asian dance troupe, talks about dancing with himself and doing good deeds.
Street: Where did you learn your moves?
Arjun Srinivas: I came to Penn with two left feet.
For serious students, it's all about striving to be head of the class. For the rest of us, it's all about dreaming of the head of the class: that distinguished professor or hot TA who you are "forced" to stare at during the semester.
There are 16 days until Spring Break, and you are fat. That leaves you five days for bingeing, two days to "work out" and "eat healthy," and nine days to crash diet so that you can trawl the beaches without being accidentally harpooned by a nearsighted sailor.