Arts & Entertainment
Film
Assault on our intelligence
Jean-Francois Richet's remake of John Carpenter's 1976 film Assault on Precinct 13 could almost be billed as a parody of the typical action flick.
by ALIX MCKENNA
Music
Apple Reveals iPod shuffle
Posters reading "Life is random" lined the walls of last Wednesday's Macworld expo as Steve Jobs and Apple unveiled their newest product in the ubiquitous iPod genealogy.
by KEVIN LO
Film
Basketball a la Carter
In 1999 Ken Carter, head coach of an inner city high school basketball team in California, created a large controversy when he locked out his undefeated team because they were doing poorly in school.
by ALEXANDRA CHALAT
Music
Warm-up songs
Cold weather got you down? Throw these warm-weather themed songs on your iPod and make snow angels in the Quad.
by 34TH STREET
Music
Reviews
This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue.
Various Penn Students
Hookup Confessions: Volume
Ever think one of your hookup experiences was truly unique?
by 34TH STREET
Film
Singing to a different poon
This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue.
Misty Beethoven: The Musical is destined for Oscar glory.
by SWEATEE MUFFMUNCHER
Film
Hot sticky sugar sweet
This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue.
While interning at Vivid Video, I happened upon a script featuring one of my good friends in a, ahem, special movie.
by 34TH STREET
Music
Sex and rock and roll
This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue.
Bedroom dresser. Second drawer. Right behind my hot panties is one of my most treasured possessions.
by ALOTTA PHUCKIN
Music
Editor's Picks
In the Aeroplane over the Sea
Since this is my last editor's pick of the semester (tear?), I'm going all out.
by NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL
Film
Alexander the gay
Oliver Stone's bloated new epic Alexander is really, really gay. Overt male homoeroticism pervades almost every other scene.
by JEFF LEVIN
Film
Worse Than watching paint dry
Because we know more about film than all of Hollywood (and by the transitive property, that means all of you too), we thought we'd present to you, our glorious readers, the grandest film gaffes of the year 2004.
by ZACH SMITH
Film
Stop in the name of law!
Closer features one of the most beautiful casts ever assembled. Alice (Natalie Portman) and Dan (Jude Law) face an obstacle in their relationship when Anna (Julia Roberts) is hired to take Dan's picture for a book cover jacket and a passionate kiss between the two ensues.
by HILLARY KELLY
Music
Best of '04
Kanye West -- College Dropout
The man behind some of Jay-Z's best work makes his debut, without a college degree to boot.
Brian Wilson -- SMiLE
37 years after its inception, Brian Wilson re-records his "teenage symphony to God," who was pleased, but wanted more cowbell.
by 34TH STREET
Film
Jerry Bruckheimer is a Garish Assclown
Within the first 10 minutes of National Treasure, a gunpowder-packed treasure ship, submerged under the icy tundra, explodes.
by CARLY DAUCHER
Film
Go Hasselhoff, Go
The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie tries to be broad enough to appeal to a wide variety of audiences, but ultimately fails to please any.
by MATT KURUC
Music
Editor's picks
Jim Newell
Puff Daddy and the Family
No Way Out
Buying '97s No Way Out marked an important step in my record collection's evolution.
by 34TH STREET
Film
Battle of the online rentals
In the age of campusfood, eBay and amazon.com, leaving the house has become a thing of the past. Now we can sit at home on the couch, wallowing in our own lethargy as the world's bounty is delivered right to our door.
by CLAYTON NEUMAN
Music
Behind the Mask
Picture this: MC So-and-so doing 90 in a sky-blue, drop-top BMW, coasting along the Van Wyck, as the leaves falling from the trees coat the concrete with the carnival colors of autumn.
by JOHN COYNE
Film
I want to defy
Before Dr. Alfred Kinsey's 1948 book Sexual Behavior in the Human Male exploded onto the bestseller list, Americans believed all sorts of crazy things about sex: that masturbation causes blindness, dancing spreads venereal disease and wearing high heels can make a woman sterile.
by JEFF LEVIN
Music
We're on Merge Records
Win Butler had no idea how much the last couple of years would change his life. For him, the 2000's have been microcosmic of a lifetime's worth of ups and downs.
by JIM NEWELL
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