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Film & TV

Jerry Bruckheimer is a Garish Assclown

Within the first 10 minutes of National Treasure, a gunpowder-packed treasure ship, submerged under the icy tundra, explodes.

by CARLY DAUCHER

Go Hasselhoff, Go

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie tries to be broad enough to appeal to a wide variety of audiences, but ultimately fails to please any.

by MATT KURUC

Battle of the online rentals

In the age of campusfood, eBay and amazon.com, leaving the house has become a thing of the past. Now we can sit at home on the couch, wallowing in our own lethargy as the world's bounty is delivered right to our door.

by CLAYTON NEUMAN

I want to defy

Before Dr. Alfred Kinsey's 1948 book Sexual Behavior in the Human Male exploded onto the bestseller list, Americans believed all sorts of crazy things about sex: that masturbation causes blindness, dancing spreads venereal disease and wearing high heels can make a woman sterile.

by JEFF LEVIN

Renee is fat again...

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason delivers what you would expect in a sequel to the 2001 hit. Our story resumes eight weeks into Bridget (Renee Zellweger) and Mark Darcy's (Colin Firth) relationship.

by ALIX MCKENNA

Imagine Johnny Depp's sword

Humor is blended with gravity, and fantasy with reality, in the enjoyable Finding Neverland. Set in 1903 London, the film chronicles the true story of J.

by JENNIFER ZUCKERMAN

Hallelujah!

Enduring Love Starring: Daniel Craig and Samantha Morton Directed by: Roger Michell Rated: R "You're mad." "That's what they said about Jesus." "Yea, that's also what they said about a lot of mad people." Enduring Love, a psychological thriller, is the eeriest movie of the year.

by ALEXIS ORENSTEIN

Alfie who?

Alfie Starring: Jude Law, Susan Sarandon, Marisa Tomei Directed by: Charles Shyer Rated: R Sometimes the main character in a film is bigger than the film itself.

by ROB COHEN

Real superheroes don't wear capes

The Incredibles Starring: Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Jason Lee Directed: Brad Bird Rated: PG Meet Bob Parr: He's married, he has three kids, he's fat.

by CLAYTON NEUMAN

Don't See-Saw

Don't bother seeing Saw, a stupefyingly stupid exercise in cinematic sadism. Written and directed by two Australian newcomers, this surprise Sundance Film Festival hit spirals into convolution from scene one. Adam and Lawrence (co-writers Leigh Whannel and English hambone Cary Elwes) wake up chained to rusty pipes in an underground bathhouse, the latest victims-to-be of the Jigsaw Killer.

by JEFF LEVIN

Hit the Road Jack

Ray is this year's first great historical drama. What initially seems like a confused and chaotic film with random flashbacks and surprising images ends up being a film about this confusion and chaos.

by ROB COHEN

Wedding nights

I'm so insignificant I can't even kill myself". Sideways, directed by Alexander Payne (Election, About Schmidt), promotes itself as a "toast to wine, women, and everything that gets better with time". Miles (Paul Giamatti), a balding, neurotic divorce, and his former college roommate, Jack (Thomas Haden Church), go on a one week tour of the central coast of California.

by ALEXIS ORENSTEIN

Seas loves primer

Primer Starring Shane Carruth, David Sullivan. Directed by Shane Carruth Rated: PG-13 The smell of popcorn lingers under your nose, the sound of the stranger to your right slurping on his giant soda echoes in your ear, the feel of old gum strategically placed by the asshole who had your seat last rubs against your fingertips.

by AMANDA STACKMAN

Tongue in cheek

Shall We Dance Starring: Richard Gere, Jennifer Lopez Director: Peter Chelsom Rated: PG-13 After 19 years of marriage, John Clark (Richard Gere), an outwardly content accountant, decides he is missing something in his life.

by DEANNA PAUL

Shark tale sucks balls

Matt Stone and Trey Parker have been beacons of comedic success ever since South Park hit the screens in 1997.

by MAGGIE HENNEFELD

EPISODE III SPOILERS!!!

Star Wars Trilogy DVD Box Set, featuring Episode IV, V, VI and Special Features Starring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher Director: George Lucas (IV), Irvin Kershner (V), Richard Marquand (VI) Rated: PG Why has it taken so long for the original Star Wars Trilogy to come out on DVD?

by ZACH SMITH

The salem witch

When one hears the name Joan Crawford, an image of a frenzied Faye Dunaway sporting a green sleeping mask with larger-than-life eyebrows might come to mind, accompanied by the phrase, "no more wire hangers!" How could an actress whose celebrity outlasted the average movie star's by at least four decades suffer such a rapid and humiliating post-mortem decline of reputation?

by MAGGIE HENNEFELD

Billy bob is insane

Though marketed as formulaic nonsense about a high school football team that goes on to an improbable victory, Friday Night Lights is a stunner.

by EUGENE NOVIKOV

Fallon has Fallen

Taxi Director: Tim Story Starring Queen Latifah, Jimmy Fallon Rated: PG-13 Sometimes it's nice to turn your brain off and watch a shallow comedy with a brainless plotline.

by ALEXANDRA CHALAT

Rage Against the Machine

In this era of reality-obsessed film and television, it came as quite a shock that The Motorcycle Diaries has nothing to do with either leather chaps, burly biker-boys or roaming the Midwest in search of a brawl.

by ALEXIS ORENSTEIN

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