Concerned sophomore: I’m really nervous about passing out in a bush tomorrow.
Harvest bartender: You hit the tip of my wiener.
Sassy senior: Mom, you need to stop captioning your photos with #yolo.
Judgmental SDT sister: She totally waxes her own back.
They say that the best drug dealers don’t look like drug dealers. As an upper–middle–class white girl, my little side business has lifted more than a few eyebrows. But I’m no Walter White—I’m just a low–key drug dealer.