Erin Go Bragh, lads and lassies. With your hearts, stars and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots of gold and rainbows and your red balloons, you made this weekend into an Irish paradise, even though the weather was more reminiscent of the Arctic.
Girl on phone: She wore leopard print to a wake? What the hell is wrong with her?
Sorority girl: Can’t a girl get some decent peanut butter in the Republic?!
Junior girl: I’ll Venmo you a blowjob.
Guy: I just don’t know what to do.
Fratstar: Go take a poopy!
MBA: People without iPhones are ruining my life.
4:29 pm: JetBlue pilot announces our descent into JFK. He advises us to buckle up tightly because, due to the approaching nor’easter, it might get a little bumpy.
4:31 pm: Flight anxiety, which is already at a level 7, increases to level 8.