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Humor
Highbrow
Overheards 10.11.17
Resigned WASP: “I stopped believing when God failed to answer my prayers for good dick.”
October 10, 2017 at 11:25 pm
by
34TH STREET MAGAZINE
Lowbrow
Handshake Renamed OneArmedHug to Foster More Accurate OCR Experience
Putting the "cute" in "recruiting"
October 10, 2017 at 12:00 am
by
CAMI POTTER
Lowbrow
BREAKING: Student “Activist” Selects Frame for Profile Picture That Will Solve Everything
Brb, saving the planet.
October 9, 2017 at 6:34 pm
by
LILY ZIRLIN
Highbrow
Overheards: 10.4.17
True patriot: "I gave my first handjob on the Washington Monument."
October 3, 2017 at 8:39 pm
by
34TH STREET MAGAZINE
Lowbrow
Fall Break Offers Freshman First Big Chance to Assert Privilege Over Everyone
"I’ve been slowly building on my superiority for a while now."
September 29, 2017 at 1:02 pm
by
CLAIRE SCHMIDT
Lowbrow
Unclear if Undergrads Speaking in Code or Just Overusing Penn-centric Abbreviations
He def SABS enough to be PPE.
September 28, 2017 at 3:31 pm
by
SHOSHANA STERNSTEIN
Lowbrow
Students Vote to Replace Harvest with SoulCycle; Life-Saving Urgent Care Center Second
I'm not trying to walk back from my work out—I literally JUST worked out
September 28, 2017 at 3:26 pm
by
CAMI POTTER
Highbrow
Overheards 09.27.17
30 year–old–woman: "A little molly never hurt anybody."
September 27, 2017 at 12:03 pm
by
34TH STREET MAGAZINE
Lowbrow
Senior with Goldman Sachs Offer and "Problem Solving Skills" Gets Really, Really Lost in the Quad
"Which one is Fitler?" said the fully grown adult
September 22, 2017 at 2:27 pm
by
DANO MAJOR
Highbrow
Overheards 9.20.17
Archetypal Penn dude: "We're dating. With an asterisk."
September 19, 2017 at 8:52 pm
by
34TH STREET MAGAZINE
Lowbrow
My Strange Addiction: Constantly Applying To Jobs On Handshake
You can't beat the rush.
September 15, 2017 at 2:39 pm
by
SHOSHANA STERNSTEIN
Lowbrow
Green Day Woken Up, Goes Back to Sleep Until 2020
Green Day band members face a confusing past when they are woken up at the end of September.
September 15, 2017 at 2:25 pm
by
CAMI POTTER
Lowbrow
The Streets of Penn: Personified
Ugh, why won't Locust just shut up?
September 13, 2017 at 9:56 pm
by
LILY ZIRLIN
Lowbrow
Totally Impossible Penn Riddles
Is it social climbing if you step on an elevated surface?
September 12, 2017 at 11:48 pm
by
,
Lowbrow
Trump Supporters Confused to Find that Made In America Not a Trump Rally
According to many confused festival-goers, Benjamin Franklin was a heathen and who even is Migos anyway?
September 12, 2017 at 11:47 pm
by
CAMI POTTER
Highbrow
Overheards 9.13.17
Kylie Penn–er: "He kisses so aggressively that I think he's going to pop my lip injections."
September 8, 2017 at 4:18 pm
by
,
Campus life
Overheards 9.18.2019
Needy vegetable ex–lover: "Am I getting ghosted by Hip City Veg?"
September 17, 2019 at 9:58 pm
by
34TH STREET MAGAZINE
Campus life
Overheards 9.11.2019
Rollerblade Elitist: “Every time I see an electric skateboard a part of me dies.”
September 11, 2019 at 12:03 am
by
34TH STREET MAGAZINE
Overheards 4.10.2019
Lost Narc: "Are drugs like acid and stuff like that illegal?"
April 9, 2019 at 9:24 pm
by
,
Humor
Let's Play Bingo: Eagles Parade Edition
First one to get five in a row wins.
February 8, 2018 at 12:56 am
by
DANIEL BULPITT
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