Lastpage
Highbrow
An Open Letter to: McDonald's
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013
My Dearest, Dirtiest McDonald’s,
I’m young, broke, hungry and most likely drunk, so what do I do?
by 34TH STREET
Highbrow
Ask Miss Cassandra: Ingrown Hairs and Threesomes Laid–Bare
So I keep getting ingrown hair and I know it’s ingrown hairs and not an STD, but I’m worried that other people won’t.
by MISS CASSANDRA
Highbrow
Penn Ebay Essentials
Penn Cornhole Carrier
Do you ever just find yourself saying, “I have all this cornhole gear, but nothing to carry it with!”? Well never fear, eBay has the goods for you.
by 34TH STREET
Word on the street
Word on the Street: Everybody Has a Story
The other day, I was reading in Van Pelt when a girl in my sorority walked by. I waved hello as she passed and she came back to chat.
by RANDI KRAMER
Highbrow
Ask Miss Cassandra: When your Partner is Out East and the STI Beasts
Dear Miss Cassandra, my boyfriend is in London for the semester and I want to try Skype sex.
by MISS CASSANDRA
Highbrow
Highbrow Horoscopes
Aries
(March 21–April 20):
People love being around you because of your vibrant and talkative nature.
by 34TH STREET
Word on the street
Word on the Street: Victoria's Secret
“That’s it?”
My first and only boyfriend stared with dismay at my pale, exposed 32A boobs. That was the first time I let a boy take off my bra.
by ALEXANDRA STERNLICHT
Highbrow
The Roundup: 11.7.2013
After four days of awkward–costumed walk of shames, Halloweekend has come and gone. You put away your cat ears and taking out your winter parkas.
by 34TH STREET
Highbrow
Overheard at Penn: 11.7.2013
Bro in Pottruck sauna: This is like when I was in Israel and it was literally too hot for my iPhone to function.
by 34TH STREET
Highbrow
Ask Miss Cassandra: Do U Lift Brah and the Vibrator–Ga–Ga
Whey to go, bruh
by MISS CASSANDRA
Word on the street
Word on the Street: Things You Can't Black Out
“Mommy’s on the floor and she won’t get up.”
Normally, I’d be mad at my sister for interrupting my homework, but on an otherwise regular Wednesday night of my junior year of high school, I knew that her tear–stained cheeks and panicked words overrode the importance of my A.P.
by 34TH STREET
Highbrow
The Round Up: 10.31.2013
Trick–or–treat, lovelies! Actually, you don’t have to pick, because Highbrow has a real treat this ’Ween.
by 34TH STREET
Highbrow
Overheard at Penn: 10.31.2013
Girl discussing Halloween costume: We should just be tribal people. But, like, without being racist.
by 34TH STREET
Highbrow
Dispatch: Butt Chugging
10:01 p.m.: Supplies: Beer, check. Vodka, check. Funnel, check. Butt, check.
10:07 p.m.: Lock myself in the bathroom and turn on the shower to hide what I’m doing from my roommates.
by 34TH STREET
PennConnects
Newsletters
Get 34th Street's newsletter, The Toast, delivered to your inbox every Friday morning.
NewslettersMost Read
Latest Issue
