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Girl 1: If I keep eating this much, I’m going to gain so much weight. Girl 2: I wish I had a tapeworm.
February 7, 2013 at 5:01 am

I think I might be gay. First off that is not a question, which is especially ironic for someone who is questioning their sexuality.
February 6, 2013 at 2:32 pm

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February 5, 2013 at 5:45 pm

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February 2, 2013 at 3:55 pm

Highbrow picks the meh–est parts of Penn. Not good. Not bad. Just meh.
January 31, 2013 at 5:43 am

I twatted a tweet of tweets gone by...
January 29, 2013 at 1:55 pm

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January 26, 2013 at 1:44 pm

5:45 a.m.: Shut off alarm. I must value the sacred American tradition of late sleeping. 6:37 a.m.: Awake from a glorious dream of prancing in blue ivy.
January 25, 2013 at 1:18 pm

10:37p.m.: First kegstand of my life. “Yeah, I haven’t done one since high school actually.”
January 24, 2013 at 7:36 pm

Rush may be over, lovelies, but don’t get too comfortable, Highbrow is here to entertain and amuse with all of your crazy stories—pledging or otherwise.
January 24, 2013 at 5:00 am

Three times in the past week I have been accused of hating everything. Lena Dunham’s “Girls”? Hate it.
January 24, 2013 at 5:00 am

Blackboard sucks. Let’s just get it out in the open. I hate it, you hate it, we all hate it. But, still, I like to think of myself as a Blackboard connoisseur.
January 24, 2013 at 5:00 am

Girl: That guy isn’t that cute, but the other drug dealer is really cute. SDT Girl: OMG we have the same taste in salads! Guy: I got kicked out of McDonald’s last night.
January 24, 2013 at 5:00 am

Dear Miss Cassandra, My boyfriend and I have been together since high school and I was wondering if there were any ways to spice up our love life without spending too much money or seeming too kinky? Couples who have been together for a long time often find the need to experiment.  A great way to do this is with “sex toys.” Now, don’t get scared.
January 23, 2013 at 12:00 pm

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January 22, 2013 at 2:45 pm

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January 20, 2013 at 3:34 pm

Dude: Brb I’m gonna take a shit. Sorority girl: I literally had to suck dick to survive. Girl: You’re pregnant.
January 17, 2013 at 5:22 am

Welcome, welcome, lovies, to the 74th Annual Hunger Games! We kid, we kid, although sometimes a fight to the death might be preferable to being featured in the Round-Up.
January 17, 2013 at 5:20 am

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January 16, 2013 at 11:00 am

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January 14, 2013 at 1:42 pm