Q: I am smarter and more accomplished than almost everyone I know. I turned down Harvard, MIT, Stanford, and Yale to pursue my passion for investment banking at Wharton. I don't really have a question, I just wanted to tell someone that.
A: Hey there, genius! That’s so great that you decided to grace those of us at Penn with your presence! We Quakers love worshipping those idols with intelligences so vastly greater than our own that we simply can’t help but fall to our knees before their massive intellects! It was so selfless of you to forgo the acceptances of those much more prestigious institutions to come spray your brilliance all over our stupid faces. You’ll be so successful at Wharton! You should so keep that confident attitude when you arrive to school! On your first day of class, make sure to walk right up to your professor and repeat what you just told us, word for word– he or she is sure to be so impressed! Afterwards, why don’t you turn around and announce your supremacy to the whole lecture hall at large? You’ll feel so good to know that they know that you know everything! You’re going to get so popular so fast. As an added bonus, we bet you’ll get so many Shoutouts at the end of semester, which are just your friends’ super special way of saying how much they care about you!
(Hint: So much.)
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