Dear Froshies of 2015, we’ve been keeping an eye on you since you arrived at Penn. And we hate to say it, but we’re not impressed. It’s obvious that you need our help, and, as Lowbrow (read: the coolest kids at Street), we feel morally obligated to lend our seasoned advice. Think of this as a pep talk, only meaner. So with your best interest in mind, we bring to you this year’s Freshman Superlatives. Learn from your fellow PEN15ers’ mistakes and set your Facebooks to private, newbs.

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But wait, there's MORE!! Freshman Superlatives: Where are they now? and Have you met my friend...?