I love that wistful light we get in our eyes at the start of the new year. Something about a fresh January gives us the undue confidence to walk around like the whole world is up for the taking; and with the help of eighty–three new resolutions, we just might take it all. Then, a month and a half later, we throw all reason to wind, and go from making unreasonable demands of ourselves to making them of the people who love us. Logically, these perennial rituals never pan out as well as in the movies. But don’t swipe left just yet, because this Street re–watched every classic tear–jerking scene to see why you keep blowing it! Here are some valuable lessons on how to avoid a V–Day faux pas this week, as gleaned from our favorite, classic romance flicks.
10 Things I Hate About You
Heath Ledger is better than you—he’s better than all of us. Luckily, that doesn’t mean you have to forfeit your personality for the sake of the plot! As for your gripes about staying home and watching Netflix again this Valentine’s Day, just admit it: you don’t hate it, not even a little. Not even…at all.
John Cusack’s boom–box stunt is the reason people started taking mirror selfies with their gargantuan iPads, but Say Anything… also has other lessons to teach: if your relationship is founded on a scam, honesty is never the best policy. It’s possible you may have found that person you really can say anything to, but you need not say everything. Instead, collect your luggage, leave your loved ones a pen for all the lies they’ll later write you and just go (to England).
If you’re at home this Valentine’s Day thinking you’re not the kind of person people usually end up marrying, loving, or even dating, just remember you didn’t have to pay anyone to like you! Suck on that, Richard Gere!
Gone with the Wind
As hard as it may be, please stop complaining about how lonely you are this week. Whether or not your heart has grown cynically cold or you think you’re literally hotter than that fire the Union army just burned through your farmland—frankly, no one gives a damn.
Love and Basketball
Love and Basketball could’ve been named ‘Dribbling in and out of the Friend–Zone: A Beginner’s Tale,’ but it likely couldn’t fit on the movie merch. You’ll never know if your crush invited you to their intramural basketball game as a friend or, like, a friend. Abstaining from all physical activity is the only way to be sure. We’re serious. Sit down.
Who knew that the greatest lesson Love Actually would teach us was that other people’s lives are going on all around you? People love, they die, they live, just like you. So, get over yourself, would you?
You should know now that Airbnb, on policy, guarantees absolutely zero love connections. They don’t even guarantee towels. But if you’re stuck in love or outside of it, take that leap you’ve been planning. Who knows what you’ll regret in the morning, but do try to live in the now.