1. Limitless martinis. Sorry baby, there aren't enough hours in the day to be both wined and dined, but if you have a taste for Zima, Cosmopolitans or cappucinos and/or you like your men in pleated pants and a Banana Republic button-down, then you may have found your type.

2. Though the original ZBT house has been relinquished to transfer students (eww!), 4050 Spruce is still pretty central to campus. And I hear they get it cleaned. And they pay the cleaning lady extra to take out the trash.

3. Easy to reach. Be it the Blackberry, the Palm Pilot or anything else ridiculously unnecessary for an undergraduate student, they have one in each color.

4. Boho men, while adorably endearing and inherently less tacky, never amount to anything. Money is the name of the game in the yuppie set, and they're going to have a lot of it. They didn't spend four years being annoyingly competitive and aggressive in Wharton (or an econ major in the college) for nothing. MONEY.


1.Golf and tennis are boring white-person sports. If you didn't start early, you're never going to earn the respect of the in-laws.

2.Get out of the '90s. Yuppies may be future Corporate Charlies and Carolines, but who wants to associate with a passe demographic?

3.Yuppies are one of the most guilt-laden groups around. The fast pace and artifice have to catch up with you somewhere. Read: long-term spousal abuse, mid-life crisis, and hairpieces.

4. ZBT.

Verdict: Reality Bites wouldn't have had a happy ending if Winona Ryder had chosen Ben Stiller over Ethan Hawke. They seemed to work out OK, and being rich is overrated. On second thought, though, it would be really cool to have one of those legacy squares on the Class of '49 Generational Bridge at 38th St. Who are we kidding, nothing's better than money. Long live Yuppies. And ZBT.


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