Since the burly Stalin has clearly seen his fair share of meat and potatoes, Street was surprised to learn that his favorite food is a good bowl of borscht, that staple soup of Russian cuisine. "It stems from my childhood," he says. "My mommy always used to make it. It's just so quintessentially Russian." The soup also serves well in his five year plans, as it was one of his inspirations for the collectivization of farming. "Given the popularity of this dish, there is a high demand for beets," explains Stalin. "Therefore, all borscht must be made from beets from collectivized farms. Those who try to grow other beets, or make borscht from those villainous 'independent' beets--well, let's just say it won't be pretty." Apparently, that's not the only political reason Stalin's a fan of the beet. An anonymous insider informed Street that Stalin's been known to poison a bowl of borscht to get rid of high-powered opponents. Stalin declined to comment on this statement, but he did offer us a bowl of borscht. We passed.
After a hard day's work trying to communize the world, Kim builds up quite an appetite. Though he loves a good plate of bulgogi, Kim's favorite food is--what else?--kim chi! "I tell all my disciples it's named after me!" he jokes. "How can it not be my favorite? Plus, there's nothing like a good heap of spicy cabbage to get you really heated up and ready to kick capitalism in the ass!" Kim chi really helps the leader keep his opposition at a distance, as after his nightly bowl, his breath keeps everyone at at least a 10-foot distance. Though Kim didn't say much, it seems that his beloved kim chi might do more than just satisfy his hunger. Rumor has it that North Korea is devising a new WMD propelled by the fiery pickled vegetable.
While China may have seen massive famine in 1959-1961, food connoisseur Mao Zedong has always found a way to satisfy his discriminating palate. Though he dabbles in dishes from North Korea, he steers clear of the other "unsympathetic" Asian cuisines, sticking mostly with traditional Chinese fare. Given that over one-third of the world population eats Chinese food on a daily basis, Chairman Mao finds this to be "the most equalizing way to eat." For similar reasons, Mao prefers dumplings to almost all other cuisine. "It's such an efficient way to eat -- everything in one neat package, and easy to divvy up evenly." Mao also touts them for their transportability. "They've really become a staple of guerrilla warfare. I mean, even men coordinating stealth attacks ought to eat well"
