Let's face it: Your main source of knowledge comes from Google searches. Unlike some college professors, Google always has an answer. Here's a quick look at some of the random searches one Penn student executed last week.
Query:
"hangover 101"
Everyone knows that the best way to nurse a hangover is to just pop a few Advil into an empty stomach before going to bed, but I just wanted to be sure. Strangely enough, I discovered that our economy loses $148 million per year from hungover employees and that the Irish believe in burying the hungover person up to his or her neck in moist river sand. The real question is how much potential GPA is lost by students showing up to classes hungover.
Query:
"boca raton ballin'"
For those who don't know, Boca Raton is where all Jewish grandparents get away from New York City to retire. I have to go this week to take care of some family business, so I figured I should find out what I could do to be ballin'. Unfortunately (well, maybe fortunately), all I could find was the obituary of one Edward H. Ballin. R.I.P. Eddie, stay ballin'.
Query:
"dog poop prank"
One of my so-called friends did something really awful to me the other day, so I decided to research ways to get him back. At dogdoo.com revenge is best served ice cold (actually it's probably somewhat warm). Ranging from $14 to $24 based on the size of the dog that will save its "business" for you, this poop is top grade. You can even hear barking audio clips of the dog that will poop for you.
Query:
"McDonald's
secret menu"
The place I hail from, Los Angeles, has a fast food burger chain called In-N-Out that not only makes the best burger, but also has a secret menu. When I typed this in, I discovered an online community of McDonald's who blog about making themselves "McBruschetta" and using pancake batter and a French fry fryer to make funnel cakes. Maybe working at McDonald's isn't so bad after all.
