Girl: That guy isn’t that cute, but the other drug dealer is really cute.

SDT Girl: OMG we have the same taste in salads!

Guy: I got kicked out of McDonald’s last night. I tried stealing a poster.

Two Theta pledges: They just said wear all black.

Fratstar in Williams: I mean, anyone can skip grades in public school.

Dude: You are not walking in a straight line. Drunk girl: I have scoliosis.