Tired of offending unsuspecting partygoers with your blatant use of religion? Fix that with these helpful guides to throwing the best, religion–free party!
1. No one is allowed to wear: blue, yellow, green, red, maroon, white, black, or purple. Color is 100% associated with religion.
2. No wine or cheese. Jesus ate wine and cheese. Thus, it is a trigger.
3. Spongebob is definitely a metaphor for the exodus from Egypt. Please don’t put it on the television.
4. Also the television is definitely something made by Satan. Remove it from your home.
5. Wood is a no go. Wood is for wands. Wands are for Wiccans.
6. Joy is a religious concept. No smiling here!
7. Make sure that no one has used Q-tips for a while. If you do, then you can hear god.
8. No talk of your hot yoga addiction. That's a total Buddhist move.
9. Also, unfortunately no one can go from boy to man during this party. Bar Mitzvah's are not Kosher here!
10. Gin smells like pine. Pine is from pine trees. Pine trees are Christmas trees. Christmas trees are not cool. Thus, no gin, thanks.
11. No pictures of Mohammad!!!! Wait, that's already not allowed.
12. No carbs allowed. Bread is the body of Christ.
