Last year was bursting with stellar Broadway debuts. From Miss Saigon to Dear Evan Hansen, the big white way had something for everyone. While the 2016–2017 season was full of hits, it left theatre aficionados wondering what next season could hold. Would it be able to top this last season, which held box–office successes such as Hamilton?  

After waiting for the rumored theatrical adaptation of To Kill a Mockingbird and the musical Love Never Dies tour in the United States, I was hoping 2017–2018 would uphold all of Broadway’s promises. But, of course, the big debut was none other than SpongeBob SquarePants, the musical, with tickets starting at $49. (But don’t take my word for it, listen to the soundtrack on Spotify yourself). 

So, how can our beloved Broadway redeem itself from this Nickelodeon train wreck? Here are some of the few thespian adaptations set to open in the next two months, ranked in order of increasing hilarity.

  1. My Fair Lady: A classic that is a must–see for any theatre or classic movie lover. Good luck to the new Eliza Doolittle. Julie Andrews and Audrey Hepburn left some big shoes to fill.
  2. Escape to MargaritaVille: Yes, a Jimmy Buffet musical bound to make your Hawaiian shirt–wearing uncle swoon.
  3. Frozen: The Disney Pixar movie you watched 20 times and sang along to is coming to life! Unfortunately, Idina sat this one out, but we should probably just let it go...
  4. Mean Girls: Audience dress code calls for pink on Wednesdays. So fetch!
  5. Carousel: A Rodgers and Hammerstein classic is reimagined in this revival starring Tony–winning Jessie Mueller (just listen to Beautiful: the Carole King Story) and Joshua Henry.
  6. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child: Yeah, you love Harry Potter, but let’s be honest, this plot was a disaster worse than Gilderoy Lockhart's tenure at Hogwarts.

They may not be strokes of genius, but bottom line is, they’re bound to be better than SpongeBob. So take a break from the Penn Bubble, plan your next trip to NYC, and bask in the song and dance of what’s coming up next in Broadway. 


All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.