Campus Life
How to Survive Your Final Semester, From Someone Who Just Survived Hers
There are firemen in my kitchen right now. They’re here for the second time today and the fifth time this week.
Shit Penn Kids Do
We asked our friendly neighbors about the weirdest things Penn kids have done. Inexplicably, the Wawa people had nothing to say.
Ego of the Week: Simone Stolzoff
This week, we got up close and maybe a little too personal with Simone “Simo” Stolzoff, a modern–day Lord Byron who slams poetry almost as well as he slams Natty.
Ego of the Week: Sophia Stylianos
Engineering senior Sophia Stylianos—sorority president, soccer player, and senior society aficionado, turns our attention to Bobby's Burger Palace.
Word on the Street: In Search of Tanya
I’m hopeful every self–respecting senior has, as I do, a bucket list. I have neither the space nor chutzpah to enumerate my personal bucket list here. For those who don’t have one, take comfort in knowing that mine is too long and mostly impossible and any points of completion will surely offer little solace when it actually comes time to graduate. In thinking about how best to utilize this column to cross something off my bucket list, however, I would like to issue a formal search warrant for my apparent doppelgänger, Tanya. If it wasn’t necessary to the comprehension of this story, I would hide the fact that I frequent Einstein’s pretty regularly.
Fall Semester Bucket List
You’ve got a month to get these in by the December deadline. Double-spaced.
Ego of the Week: The Men of BMOC
The virile dudes of Big Man on Campus, AXO's annual philanthropy competition, weigh in on guac, Gabby Douglas and everything in between.
Word on the Street: Why I Didn't Vote
You’ve got two choices: chocolate or vanilla. If you really like pistachio, you can technically choose pistachio, but you’re still going to get either chocolate or vanilla, so you might as well choose between those two. At Penn, liking chocolate means you fit in.
The More You Know-Vember
Think your November will be different from last year's? Think again.
Ego of the Week: Slow Dance Chubby
Slow Dance Chubby, Penn’s all–senior, face–melting, frat–entertaining, self–proclaimed “flagship” rock band has probably sent you way more Facebook spam about their new EP than you can comfortably tolerate.
Guide to the Penn/Princeton Game
Do: Pee before you get on the bus. BYO alc. Princeton is like…in the middle of nowhere. Insta the shit of it. Plan your outfit well in advance.
Word on the Street: Calm Down Before the Storm
Standing on the corner of 43rd and Market with my weight in canned food sitting like a ton of steel inside my housemate’s hiking–sized megabackpack, my spine caving into an awful kind of inverted “U,” I truly began to understand the concept of the sophomore slump.
Rock the Vote
We have political opinions, just like Snoop Dogg.
Spooky Campus Spots
The Devil Elevator (Van Pelt) It’s a regular Sunday afternoon. You’ve just woken up, you’re still a little drunk and your backpack is bursting with overdue anxiety.
How to Make an Impression this Halloween
Drop the cat ears! Step away from the cultural appropriation! We’re all secretly pining for something a little more elaborate than a leotard with a tail, but no one wants a Mean Girls–esque fashion faux pas to ruin their holiday.
Hurricane Shopping
Oh my god. Supreme Shop n Bag is freaking NUTS.
Ego of the Week: Lakshmi Sivaguru
By day, Lakshmi Sivaguru is a champion of women’s rights, a dedicated television–viewer and an admittedly awful cook. By night, Lakshmi Sivaguru is Maria.
Word on the Street: From Penn to Oktoberfest in 96 Hours
Let’s be real: Oktoberfest is every frat boy’s wet dream: beer, boobs, a selection of heavy, meat–based foods, amusement rides and more beer.
