Room: 326 Community
Cohabitants: Tim Johnson (goatee) and Chris Mingle, College freshmen from Philadelphia.
When you two get into a fight, what's the first object in the room you grab for?
Tim: I think the signs are usually good.
Chris: I try and hit him with the hubcap.
Tim: It's like a Frisbee, and it can really [do some] damage.
What do you usually put in your shopping cart?
Chris: Umm... people.
Tim: We use it to catch basketballs when we play hallway bowling.
What music were you listening to while decorating?
Tim: "Like a Prayer" by Madonna.
Chris: Yeah, that was a good one.
That makes sense. Is there a religious flavor to this room?
Chris: No
Not at all? "Like a Prayer"? Madonna?
Chris: I don't think there is anything; we were just like, whatever.
Tim: If there was a religion that followed Madonna, I think then there would be [a religious influence].
Tell us about the cockroaches.
Tim: The girls across the hall have a... cockroach problem. We taped the hole up now. [The girls] get in there and they scream and they wake us up.
Chris: And I go in and I just laugh and point and fall on the ground.
Tim: I go in and kill them with a shoe.
Do you feel you have the authority to kill God's creatures?
Tim: Damn. Sorry. I won't kill any more cockroaches.
Chris: You asshole.
Do cats dream?
Tim: I think they have dreams about catnip.
Chris: Nightmares about cat litter maybe.
Does this stuffed tiger ever violate the stuffed platypus?
Tim: Every now and again. We rearrange them.
What positions do they enjoy?
Tim: Well there is this one. (He places them in dual fellatio.)
Chris: I try to keep as far away as possible when they're like that.
You don't approve of that?
Chris: No. It's not my style.
What is your style?
Chris: I don't get into that.
Do you have any porn?
Tim: No.
Chris: No.
Do you prefer one medium of porn to another?
Chris: Straight porn [depicting females]. I don't like the gay porn [depicting males].
You were pretty quick with that answer; we weren't asking about your orientation.
Chris: Oh.
We were asking about medium, like magazines or movies.
Tim: I think Internet porn is the way to go because it's free.
Any favorite sites?
Tim: A couple here and there. There's Tommy's Bookmarks [http://www.tommys-bookmarks.com]. That's good.
If you could characterize your room as a vegetable what would it be?
Chris: It would be a zucchini, 'cause they are fucked up.
And phallic.
Tim: And phallic also.
Chris: I've never seen a zucchini.
If you could characterize your room as a legume, what would it be?
Chris: What's a legume?
We're asking the questions here, just answer.
Chris: A really ripe one because it's got a lot of shit going on.
Are you indeed "men working" [referring to "Men Working" sign displayed prominently]?
Chris: Oh yes, we're definitely men at work.
Do you work hard for your money?
Chris & Tim (in unison): 'cause McDonald's treats us right. Does your room, or that of someone you know, deserve to be featured in "Room"? E-mail street@dailypennsylvanian.co m.
