Jonathan Hertzel
James A. Michener Art Museum
138 S. Pine St.
Sun, 12 p.m. -- 5 p.m., $4
(215) 340-9800
www.michenerartmuseum.org/
Outdoor sculpture exhibitions are the best. You're out in the fresh, open air, enjoying some beautiful artwork on a beautiful day. You can sound all intellectual as you make some comment about the cultural and political significance of the bronze statue glimmering in the sunlight. Plus, it's easier to put yourself in hilariously compromising positions on the sculptures without getting kicked out by museum security.
Student Exhibition: Delphi Art Futures
Philadelphia Museum of Art
Benjamin Franklin Parkway and 26th Street
Wed, 10 a.m. -- 5 p.m., $7
(215) 763-8100
www.philamuseum.org/main.asp
Think young people are powerless to do anything useful? Well, yea, they pretty much are. But even students get a break sometimes. Like getting to work under the guidance of real artists, instead of your average high school art teacher, and having their art displayed in a real art museum-as opposed to in the school cafeteria. The PMA's tuna-noodle casserole probably sucks, though.
Scott Simmon
Thomas Library 224
Bryn Mawr College
101 N. Merion Avenue
Bryn Mawr, PA
Thu, 4:30 p.m., free
www.brynmawr.edu/visualculture/Simmon.htm
Cool! You can walk all the way to 30th street station, unless you're rich and take a cab there you lazy sack. Pay to ride Philadelphia's smelly and filthy trains only to be stressed out you'll miss your stop to go to Bryn Mawr (great for guys, kind of a wasteland for girls) and hear a lecture about American film archives. At least the lecture is free.
Reel Voices Africa
International House
3701 Chestnut Street
Thu, 7:30 p.m. $5-$6
(215) 387-5125
Homeland: the story of bringing Nickelodeon and One Saturday Morning to poor deprived kids in Africa, who live like in huts, don't wear shoes or brush their teeth, and are like more starving than a typical Penn girl. At least now I won't feel bad throwing away all the food in the dining hall I put on my tray foolishly thinking it was edible.
Horror in Philly 2
The Rotunda
4012 Walnut Street
Thu, 6 p.m., free
(215) 573-3234
The night features three old horror movies including Young Frankenstein, Phantom of the Opera and Zombie. You know any movie night featuring Young Frankenstein is bound to be a interesting night; come on, Willy Wonka is in it! And he is the man. Anyway, shut up, I'm going to be there so you might want to go if you feel like being moderately star struck on some random Thursday.
What in the World is It?
Academy of Natural Sciences
1900 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy
Sat, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., $8
(215) 299-1000
www.acnatsci.org
What in the world is it? You can insert your own sexual epithets in here without my encouragement. The Academy of Natural Sciences claims that this exhibit is about animals from around the world, but still doesn't mean that you can't insert your sexual epithets, nonetheless. I hear there's an awful lot there about dogs.
The Voice of Philadelphia Project
The Poetry and Spoken Word Workshops
Kelly Writers House
3805 Locust Walk
Sat, 1 p.m.-3 p.m., free
www.writing.upenn.edu/~wh/
Hmm, hard core, in your face, kill your mother and then whine about it poetry. Seem scary? Well it is. But if you think that you may have the balls to go against something that you have never seen before and something original, go see the "Voice of Philadelphia" if not for any other reason other than this: it's completely and utterly free.
Janet Poppendieck: Confronting Hunger in America
Hillel Building
215 S. 39th St. 2nd Floor
Tue, 12 p.m. - 1p.m., free
www.foxleadership.org
Memo to Janet: you're preaching to the choir. We all have hungers, and not just the food kind. I mean really, who complains nowadays about being hungry? Isn't that the normal state of things? If people are really so hungry that they need to eat food, let them eat cake, the newest addition to McDonald's dollar menu.
Sunburned Hand of the Man
The Khyber
56 S. 2nd St.
Thu, 9 p.m., $10
(215) 238-5888
Thekhyber.com
Admit it. There's emo on your iPod, your shirts sometimes mismatch on purpose, and you coyly air-guitar while waiting for an elliptical at Pottruck. You're a legit punk, so Sunburned Hand of the Man is the engine to your Beamer. According to John Monaghan of the Detroit Free Press, "Psychotic space-rock jams, ambient droning, ethereal folk ballads, a cauldron of distorted spoken-word, 10 minutes of percussive doodling, tribal drumming and spastic jamming," plus a cigarette and a cosmo? Holy refreshment. Maybe you'll start spastic jamming before workouts.
The Philadelphia Orchestra w/Martha Argerich: Sadness and Light
Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts
260 S. Broad St.
Thu, 8 p.m., $30-$110
(215) 893-1999
www.kimmelcenter.org/
For only $110, you too can enjoy sad and depressing music that only the Kimmel Center can deliver. So if you're feeling particularly moody and looking to swap your Keane, Coldplay and Snow Patrol CD's for Beethoven and MacMillan for a night, check out Sadness and Light. Your Jack Daniels promises to be on the table when you return.
Raw Boys
The Wilma Theater
265 S. Broad St.
Thu, 7:30 p.m., $32-$48
(215) 546-7824
www.wilmatheater.org
This is a play about Irish boys. I think that's enough said but I'll go on for the heck of it. Irish boys with Irish accents. Can anyone say "hotness"? And since one of them moves to New York to become a famous actor, my dream of little boys with my eyes and Irish accents is a little bit more of a reality. So am I going to see this play? Two words my friend, fuck. yeah.
Boxstep
World Cafe Live
3025 Walnut Street
Thu, 10:30 p.m., free
(215) 222-1400
This show featuring singer/songwriter Carter Little is sure to be amazing. His music is pop meets jazz meets poetry. That is something I would really love to see since I am a huge fan of what I like to call multi-genre music. I know what you are thinking, "is she kidding me"? Hmm perhaps, but if you are for the single genre type, the 9-piece orchestral band, Boxstep, will be performing. So go wild.
Dixie Dregs
Theatre of the Living Arts
334 South Street
Thu, 9 p.m., $29.50-$32
(215) 922-1011
www.theateroflivingarts.net
All I can say about this is: rock meets jazz. I don't think I could come up with a better fusion of music unless Prince decided one day he was going to play with Britney Spears. It seems to be the hipster thing to do these days, this so called fusion of genres; so if you are aching to score some points, this is the place to go.
Beatlemania Now-unplugged
The Point
880 W. Lancaster Ave
Fri, 10 p.m., $16
(610) 527-0988
www.atthepoint.com/
If you're a fan, you have probably recreated this entire show for yourself in your bedroom at least one time. These Beatle impersonators swear to relive 1964-1970, complete with seven costume changes and four Beatle look-alikes -- except that no one's as ugly as Ringo. They just used a random fat guy. This is a permanent, actual band and it plays back-track free. So if you think Ashlee sucks because she is not as hot as Jessica -- this show should be refreshing.
Mudvayne
Electric Factory
421 N. 7th St.
Sat, 7 p.m., $24.50
(215) 627-1332
www.electricfactory.com
Four guys, stuck in Peoria, Illinois, with a lot of their mothers old '70s makeup and some amps created th band Mudvayne. These gents have somehow convinced people the random noise on their CD's is music and are now playing at the Electric Factory. No hearing aids required, but Flock of Seagulls-esque hair is recommended.
Sum 41
Electric Factory
421 N. 7th St.
Wed, 8 p.m., $22.50
(215) 627-1332
www.electricfactory.com
Gotta give credit to Sum 41 front man Deryck Whibley, a guy with enough panache to bang both Avril Lavigne and Paris Hilton (though purportedly not at the same time) even though he and his group are Canadian. That can be forgiven, eventually. And if there isn't already enough incentive to go, the Bush-haters can all rejoice with their new single "We're All to Blame" which is off their recent album Chuck.
UPPD: Dancing in the Street
Iron Gate Theatre
37th and Chestnut streets
Fri, 8 p.m., $6-$7
http://dolphin.upenn.edu/~penndanc/
There are so many dance groups at Penn that it's become quite a challenge to decide which to attend. However, what is cooler than cold? Penn Dance. Not only do the beautiful ladies of Penn Dance look devilishly hot in tight leotards, but also I taught my girls Lillian and Kate some sick moves at dirty French Discotheques last summer that are sure to light up the stage this Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
Urban Tap Kadanse
Perelman Theater at the Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts
260 S. Broad St.
Sat, 11 a.m., $30-$45
(215) 893-1999
www.kimmelcenter.org/
Kadanse, which is Creole for "can dance" is a concoction of drums, woodwinds, and tap dancing, focused on expressing the culture of the Caribbean and Haiti in particular. So if you thought tap dancing was loud and annoying, then clearly you're wrong. Hey, I'd tap that. Who wouldn't?
MFA Dance Concert
Temple University
Broad and Montgomery streets
Sat, 8 p.m., $8
(215) 336-2000
The MFA Dance Concert this weekend at Temple is such a big event it has even caught Ticketmaster's attention. Who knew? Besides, everyone enjoys a good student dance competition. Maybe it'll be something like John Travolta and that slut in Grease cuttin' a rug at the prom. That'd be awesome.
From Opera to Broadway
Upper Darby Performing Arts
601 N. Lansdowne Ave.
Sat, 8 p.m., $10-$12
(610) 622-1189
http://udpac.org
First of all, anything where Broadway meets Opera is possibly the best thing since Yanni came into the picture. Second of all, this group is a piano quartet which means that instead of one pianist (go ahead you know you want to laugh) there are four pianists (insert laugh). Can you imagine how intense that is? I know I might be going just for the sheer tripping experience that I am sure to gain (theoretically I mean).
Hedda Without Walls
Adrienne Theatre
2030 Sansom Street
Sat, 8 p.m., $15
(215) 569-9700
Woman empowerment, self identity, and a little confusing: some of the words to describe this play produced by Green Light Theatrical productions. A play about a girl who loses herself as an actress within another play can maybe be a bit frustrating at times, but in the long scheme of things, you weren't planning on understanding anyway were you -- you college stoner?
Midnight Comedy Show with The Lifetime Guarantee!
World Cafe Live
3025 Walnut Street
Sun, 12 a.m., $13
(215) 222-1400
www.worldcafelive.com/
If Casey Affleck's accent gets you hornier than Timberlake at halftime, use the midnight oil to sweat three Brooklyn townies instead of whacking off to Good Will Hunting. Whatever the hell musical comedy is, these guys can do it. By 12 on Saturday night campus will be drowsy anyway. You can catch the show and make it back for a Pike-esque late-night, as long as you're already drunk (club cafe upstairs, bar downstairs). I know, stairs! Yeah right.
School Girl Figure
Shubin Theatre
407 Bainbridge Street
Sun, 2:30 p.m., $11-$13
(215) 592-0119
www.flashpointtheatre.com
This play is exactly what it sounds like: it's about a bunch of anorexic and bulimic girls at a high school that scramble to get the crown of popularity when the former queen dies. Pretty sick, no? Pretty familiar, no? I can't believe they would make a play about girls that are too skinny and fashionable at a school. That never happens...
