Street: What’s your deal on campus? Alec Miller: It’s a lot. I’m Chair of NEC, Vice President of the Engineering Dean’s Advisory Board, the former president of the Engineering Students Activities Council (ESAC) and M&T club, a Management 100 TA and I’m in Skulls, Hexagon, and Sphinx.
Street: Damn. What’s your major? AM: Finance and systems engineering. Systems gets a bad rep, but it’s really hard! Computer science is really the easiest major and everyone knows it.
Street: What do you do as Chair of NEC? AM: I’m not in charge of anything. I just get to oversee, which I love. It’s mostly bossing around. And I get a gavel, which I only abuse sometimes.
Street: We hear there was once a scandal when your gavel went missing. AM: Yes, my gavel was stolen and wheresalecsgavel.tumblr.com was created. It was a series of pictures of my gavel with things I hate to give clues as to who might have done it: McDonald’s, regular peanut butter, fruit.
Street: Did you ever find the culprit? AM: It was Scott Dzailo, the chair of SCUE (Student Committee on Undergraduate Education). I’d steal from them but they don’t have anything that’s important. We’re known as the best–looking branch of student government and they’re known as the most boring.
Street: Would you ever run for an elected position? AM: Ugh, no, I don’t like running for things. I like being selected or appointed but asking for votes? That’s too political. That’s not for me.
Street: Why are nominations and elections important at Penn? AM: We pay to go here, but the UA gets back $2 million to serve us. It’s like if you don’t vote, you can’t complain about taxes. Same thing. So vote. Now!
Street: What do you advise the Engineering deans about? AM: Curricular changes, like that we don’t have enough study space in the engineering quad. And the closest food is Starbucks! There’s not even a Wawa around there!
Street: What’s it like to be a TA? AM: So fun. I like to play Fantasy MGMT 100. Who’s gonna pause for 30 seconds during their status report, predicting what frats and sororities people will end up in, who’ll wear a Wharton shirt or who will say something smart—that one’s rare.
Street: Not to be an annoying relative, but do you know what you’re gonna do next year? AM: I’m consulting. I don’t really know what that means. I know they’re gonna pay for my phone. I’m just really looking forward to retirement in Arizona.
Street: Already have plans for your golden years? AM: Oh yeah. I’ll play Bingo; I get really competitive over things like that. I like food that doesn’t vary too much from the air temperature––so like mashed potatoes and oatmeal in Arizona. Can’t wait to be old!
Street: What advice would you give to your freshman self? AM: I’ve been the mayor of Gia Pronto for ages and let me just say that the iced coffee at Gia is cheaper than at Wawa! And it’s classier. They also don’t charge for soy milk, which I can’t emphasize enough. I’m excited for their move [down Spruce next to Beijing]. I’ve discussed introducing lox to the menu with them, which will be great for the whole campus. It was well received.
Street: Who’s your alter ego? AM: Alexander Hamilton, hands down. We have the exact same character strengths and flaws––it’s almost eerie.
Street: Oh, so do you like to duel? AM: I haven’t, but I think I would. When my honor is questioned, I’d get sucked in. When arguing, I like to bother the person into submission, which is very Hamiltonian. And Jefferson sucks, everyone knows that.
Street: Controversial. What about B-Frank? AM: Franklin was just a fat drunk. [pauses] I mean, he was productive, but if Hamilton lived to 80–something, God knows what this world would be like.
Street: What’s your guilty pleasure? AM: I can’t say. Any of them would make me sound too jappy.
Street: Do you have any nicknames? AM: No. Definitely not.
Street: What will you miss most about Penn? AM: Well the thing I’ll miss least is the walk to the third floor of Towne, which is the worst thing that’s happened to me in my entire life. I will miss SABSing on Locust, though. On nice days I like to walk back and forth on Locust and just say hi to people.