Spring Fling is so over. This April's trendiest holiday is Earth Day, and you bet your ass you should be be celebrating.
How, you ask? Roll around in that ripe smelling fertilizer currently on every inch of organic matter lining locust Locust. Throw a sceney downtown and play exclusively Woody Guthrie techno remixes you made yourself(Ed. note: if you do this please, please, send audio files to firstname.lastname@example.org). Bathe in the Schuykill to better connect with your single-celled aquatic ancestors. Of course, listen to this playlist.
But, most importantly, take this Earth Day to appreciate Mother Earth and this beautiful frickin' planet we live on. And then also do the same thing the other 364 days of the year.
Respect your mother, you animal.