Whether you’re setting up your first post–graduation bachelor pad or struggling to decorate your Rodin slice of heaven, shopping for household goods can be tricky. In a day and age where one simple trip to Ikea can end in roommates taking out restraining orders on one another, it can be pretty hard to find a reasonably priced place to shop that keeps the whole squad happy. That’s why Street found the perfect place to pick up household goods that everyone will be able to agree on: Condom Kingdom. It turns out that everyone’s favorite South Street sex shop has a lot more to offer than just funky rubbers.
Penis Ice Cube Trays ($6.99)
Street actually owns these. The verdict? Be prepared when carrying a clear water bottle to class. The shape of ice cubes in water is apparently still quite visible. Your Sex and Gender class has never been more provocative!
Penis Toothbrush ($4.99)
Aching to improve your “oral” hygiene? Condom Kingdom makes it easy to “keep your pearly whites pristine with this helpful weenie!” Leave this toothbrush at your DFMO’s house the one time you go home together (good job, you), and they’ll be begging to have you back for another round.
Exxxtreme Sheets ($119.99 for a king-size fitted rubber sheet)
Condom Kingdom has you “covered” on this one, with a polyamide and nylon sheet that makes cleanup “a snap”. Completely waterproof and durable, yet somehow incredibly soft at the same time, these sheets are essential if you’re planning on getting down and dirty in your new pad. If you like your sexy time with just a little bit more slip than slide, these sheets are for you.
Fetish Fantasy Pleasure Tape ($7.99)
This tape is specially designed to stick to itself (and not to you). With a little creativity, the possibilities for this product are endless. With multiple color options, you can find the perfect shade to match any furniture or appliances you might need to use this on (as long as your furniture and appliances are all hot pink or fire engine red, that is).
Pleasure Feather Tickler ($7.99)
Get your cleaning done the old–fashioned way with this classic feather duster that even your grandma would be a fan of. Wait…this is just a feather duster, right? Whatever this object is, we’re sure it’ll help you hit all those hard–to–reach places. For cleaning, of course.
Getting the Goods
Location: 437 South Street. Big yellow sign. The interior decorators who work there will be more than happy to help you find exactly what you're looking for.
Monday to Friday: 11:00 AM–11:30 PM
Saturday: 11:00 AM–12:00 AM
Sunday: 12:00 PM–10:30 PM
Note: Condom Kingdom is still running on their spring/summer hours. Check here for their fall/winter hours, starting on Sunday, Oct. 16
Ordering online: Condom Kingdom offers a *discreet* shipping process, meaning you can easily order any of their products from their website. Think of it as the naughtiest package you can have delivered right to your door without your housemates even knowing.