Goonies Never Die! (right?) So, what ever happened to Corey Feldman?
Well, for 10 days ending last Friday, he was working in and around Philadelphia on Bikini Bandits: The Movie.
The low-budget film (as if the name didn't give it away) is a full-length feature version of Internet film shorts by the same name, found on www.atomfilms.com, which feature four armed, scantily-clad ladies who carry out crime sprees against corporate America.
"I did it for art, truthfully... [director] Steven Grasse contacted me and said he wanted me to do this art piece called Bikini Bandits... and I thought, well, you know, in my career there's been Stand by Me, there's been Dream a Little Dream, and then the pinnacle, really, could become Bikini Bandits. That really could be the crux, if you will, of my being," Feldman, now 30, was quoted as saying in the Philadelphia Inquirer on Tuesday.
In response to my truly obvious question "Why use Corey Feldman?" Grasse simply replied, "Have you seen The Goonies? The man's a genius."
Jello Biafra, the former San Francisco mayoral candidate and leader of the proto-punk band Dead Kennedys, Maynard James Keenan of the band Tool, DeeDee Ramone, comedian Bret Reilly, and the "Howard Stern Show's" Gary the Retard are also on the list of well-known figures featured in the movie.
"Everyone in the film's a cult figure, including Corey," Grasse remarked.
Grasse said that he had planned to have Corey Haim (with whom he notes Feldman is still good friends) in the film also, but complications with working papers for Haim would have cost too much.
The Bikini Bandits are led by Heather-Victoria Ray of USA's "Tropical Tease" and Hulk Hogan's "Thunder in Paradise," who said that in Bikini Bandits: The Movie the girls gather their (wits?) to take on Satan (played by Keenan).
While working with Feldman, Ray said at times she felt as if she were River Phoenix, on the set of Stand By Me. "I felt like I grew up with him and hadn't seen him in 10 years."
She also added that he is "really short," or at least in comparison to her, and she wasn't used to having to lean over to kiss her leading man.
The Bikini Bandits' crew has been filming around the area since last week, shooting at the Trocadero, the Camden County Airport, and in Lancaster County.
Grasse, co-owner of Philadelphia's alternative advertising agency Gyro Worldwide -- the same guy who organized the "Shock the Vote!" party at the Troc, which included drag queens, strippers and pierced attendants, during last year's Republican National Convention -- is known for his Howard Stern-esque style of political incorrectness. This film also adopts his crass touch with characters such as a retarded Amish boy, Evil Porn Director, Satan and the Pope. The films are a tribute to soft porn film-maker Russ Meyer, Grasse has said.
"I want life to be like a Van Halen video. I want to rock on," Grasse remarked. "It's chewing bubble gum. There's not much of a plot. There is no acting. There's just fun," Ray agreed. "If you like it, watch it. If you don't, turn it off."
Once the film is edited, Grasse plans to take it on a circus-like tour, saying that he wants to show it in venues where alcohol can be served. He said "The Bikini Bandit Tour" will include lots of women and a few rock bands, making it what he calls "like a mini-Lollapalooza with tits."
"We plan to make a shitload of money on it," Grasse said.
Until then, the seven other five-minute Bikini Bandits shorts can be found on www.atomfilms.com. A Bikini Bandits website is in the works; for more info about the future site, see www.gyromart.com.
