Warm and Inviting
Tear Sheet Magazine's Model's Ball
Shampoo
417 North 8th Street
(215) 922-7500
9 p.m., 21+
November 10
We at Street know that there's just nothing quite like gettin' down with a warm, sweaty box. You go slowly at first, easing into it as you feel it gently resisting. Little by little the intensity is increased as you find your rhythm and feel your life juices coursing through your body. Soon you become one with the box, reaching a state of ecstasy that can only result from a hot, raw grind. Your body shakes with reckless abandon as you spew forth the blood of life. All those around drown in your infectious aura. Finally you come to a stop, utterly drained and completely fulfilled. The box is always ready for more but for now you must stop, as your skin continues to tingle with delight. This is the kind of truly transcendent experience that is wholly unique to the Poo. And this Saturday, the vamps mix with the vixens, the perfect 10s with the trannys, the sluts with the shims, and it's all about the love.
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERIFUNK
Strictly Funk: You Bring the Noise, We Bring the Funk
Iron Gate Theater
37th and Chestnut streets
8:30 p.m. Thursday, 8 p.m. Friday/Saturday
Midterms are over, it's time to excerciiiize the freak outta ya. It's Strictly Funk party hour! They're hot, fierce, and flexible... definitely the types that you don't wanna bring home to mama but lust to bring home to your cold, cold bed. Constantly pushing the boundaries of dance performance and campus liberalomania, Strictly Funk is double daring you to bring the noise to their funktastic fall show. Last year, the street-funk-ballet-jazz-and-everything-in-between troop featured themes of literally and mentally losing your ID and breaking free from constraints, complete with Carmen Electra-inspired ass-jiggling and hot guy-on-guy action. Gay guys are sooo the new lesbians. With poplocking goddess Nikki Higa directing the show this year, we can only expect more of that hip-hop flava that makes Strictly Funk strictly the only student group not to ignore while trudging through Locust Walk. As an added bonus, they vow not to sing any a cappella.
Susan Werner
Tin Angel
20th S. Second Street
7 p.m. & 10 p.m., $18
(215) 928-0770
Following in the footsteps of Gordon "Sting" Sumner, Susan Werner has developed her musical style as a blend of pop, folk, jazz and hours of tantric sex. The coffeehouse diva has been playing the Philadelphia circuit since her days at Temple, and has gained a steady fan base of latte-sipping chicks looking for tantric lovers. Sure, it's chick music, but we're comfortable with that.
The Shins
North Star Bar
27th and Poplar streets
10 p.m., $10, 21+
(215) 922-LIVE
It seems like everyone from Penn is from New Mexico. It's just crazy. The Shins must have realized this 'cause they're coming all the way here to entertain their own kind. The nonsensical '60s nostalgia-lovin' pop-rockin' New Mexicans, that is. You can count me in! But I'm not really from New Mexico. It's true, I'm a phony. But I just want to be one of the cool kids. I bought moccasins and everything. They're way cool.
Some Words with a Mummy: Edgar Allan Poe and Egyptology
Museum of Archeology and Anthropology
33rd and Spruce streets
Through November 11
Call for times
(215) 898-4000
David Keltz makes a living out of impersonating one of the most recognizable figures in American history. With the mere words of "bibadee bobidee boo" we know that the man has become possessed by the father of the short story, Edgar Allen Poe. Wait. That's what that raven kept saying right? Or was that the sound of the scary heart under the floor board? Or that woman in the wine cellar? Nevermore.
Suzanne Vega
TLA
334 South Street
9:30 p.m., $25
(215) 3922-1011
Dah dah dah dah...Well, we knew that she was a talented lyricist, but she really proved it to us in "Tom's Diner." And to clear up the confusion, her name is not Luka, despite her own protestations. It took her five years to discover the meaning of "follow-up album," but to celebrate she's on tour. Hurrah for hippie chicks.
Natalie MacMaster
Keswick Theatre
Glenside, Pa.
8 p.m., $27.50
(215) 572-7650
Anyone who knows his stringed instruments knows that there's a big difference between a violin and a fiddle. A fiddle is what gets the foot-tapping beyond the stodgy, restrictive stylings of classical music. Folk, rock and flamenco? What the hell is this woman thinking? Canadians never can get it straight.
