Last night I dreamed that I climbed up out of a small boat onto the parking lot of a pier. I'm wearing a backpack and glasses. The backpack is full, and it's falling off my back. I'm playing basketball with a mini-ball-and-hoop set, like the kind I used to have in my room when I was younger.
I'm practicing my part for the movie -- my first starring role! Robin Williams is in a tux with a backpack full of sausages. The backpack is full of sausages, and then they fall out. I hope he misses them sorely.
The sausages are also practicing their parts. I'm just playing mini-basketball with a backpack and glasses on a pier. Scene change. I shoot the ball and miss, as usual, but this time in a hotel hallway. And I can hear Siskel's voice coming out of one of the nearby rooms as he reviews my movie. Al Sharpton once told me that the movie "had a good guy and a bad guy." But he always asks questions like that. Al's favorite book is Shane.
If you want to shoot rabbits, you'll have to wait until March like everyone else.
Do you remember the last time we were here? I was like, "Hey." And then you said, "Hello." Then I said, "No, she didn't." And you're like, "But she did." Then I'm like, "This is too much." You replied, "Hey, I know." And I left.
I fear sodomy. The first excuse I can think of is "I'm thirsty." It works. I go to my old bathroom and get a Dixie cup and fill it with water. I try to fill it with ice cubes, and not water. My bathroom doesn't have ice cubes. It is Thursday. I end up putting pieces of Dixie cup into my drink. And lo and behold the cup falls apart in my mouth. I only get one sip of water and a mouthful of waxed paper. Delicious.
Why am I so tired. I climb up out of a small boat onto the parking lot of a pier. I'm wearing a backpack and glasses. The backpack is full of sausages and it's falling off my back. I'm playing basketball with a miniball-and-hoop set.
Don't be lewd. Don't even read this. You don't want to read. Why am I in this movie? I didn't sign up.Sometimes I wake up on a Thursday and realize rubbadubbadubba.
Close eyes and remember. Cats in hats with the Jesus dance. Whoopty woo. Wait, try again. Whoopty whoopty woo. I started to sing, thinking of my body as a canvas. But I don't wanna waste my time, become another casualty of society. I don't want to fall in line abooz abooz abooz abooz aboozhhhhh. And then I remember, this is not my beautiful wife.
*Names have been changed to retain the subject's anonymity.
