The Glass Menagerie
Temple University/Randall Theater
13th and Norris Streets
Thu & Fri, 8 p.m., Sat 2 p.m. and 8 p.m.; $12
(215) 204-1122
www.temple.edu
Tennessee Williams would be proud to see his classic play about love and family as recreated by the theatrical scholars of Temple University. The play explores how to reconcile the harsh reality of responsibility and the temptation of freedom. This is something all Penn students can relate to. Why, just last night, after six tequila shots and a pitcher of margaritas, as I was falling asleep in a strange guy's apartment, I knew that the responsible thing to do was to clean the vomit off of his bathroom floor. But no, the temptation was too great, and instead I passed out.
Richard J. Watson: Abbreviated Memories
ArtJaz Gallery
53 N. 2nd Street
Through March 20; Wed-Sat 11 a.m.-5 p.m. or by appointment; Free
(215) 922-4800
www.artjaz.com
Local painter and musician Richard J. Watson has created a collection of works that combines historical elements with surrealism to depict the African American experience. His unsettling reflection on the broken past is mirrored by the title of the collection, which like his work, is suggestive yet open to individualized interpretation. And though some may think of shattered chain links and dark Diasporas, I hold onto fond flashes of gold fins and scales. Dear dullard fish of mine. You may have chosen asphyxiation suicide by leaping out of your bowl to the floor, but you'd forgotten why three seconds down.
Leaf and Flower: Photographs by Nora Odendahl
Morris Arboretum of the University of Pennsylvania
Lower Gallery, Widener Visitor Center
100 Northwestern Ave.
Through March 21; 10 a.m.-4 p.m.; $8 adults, Free w/ Penn Card
(215) 247-5777
www.business-services.upenn.edu/arboretum/whatsnew2.html
Is it nice? Is it juicy? Is it scrumptiously crunchable? Well no, but this visual minimalism will leave your cortical network yelping like an excitable little dog. The digitalized photographs are printed on watercolor paper using pigmented inks, which gives an unnaturally "natural" texture and feel to the transcendent images of woodland glory. Some might call this dedicated recreation of nature a form of hyperrealism that tries to gloss over the distinction between the natural and the unnatural. Is there something lost in that fine distinction? I don't know, but if everything natural is "good," I'd be hiding in the trees to swoop down and eat your children.
The 64th Annual Juried Exhibition
Woodmere Art Museum
9201 Germantown Avenue
Through April 4, Tue -- Sat 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun, 1 p.m.-5 p.m.; $5, $3 seniors and students
(215) 247-0476
www.woodmereartmuseum.org
Don't tear up that jury summons just yet. Instead of being forced to hear dull courtroom testimony on why little Aidan will never see again after his laser eye surgery, some lucky jurors will instead be whisked off to lay down the law on hapless artistes and their work. Maybe you'll actually sit up a bit straighter in that seat when it's time to give the thumbs down to starving artist #42. After all, there are no complicated issues of guilt and punishment here -- only the evisceration of someone's soul with the flick of a wrist.
SmartWrap
Institute of Contemporary Art
118 S. 36th Street
Through April 4, Wed-Fri 12 p.m.-8 p.m., Sat & Sun 11 a.m.-5 p.m.; $3, Free with Penn Card and Sun 11 a.m.-1 p.m.
(215) 898-7108
www.icaphila.org
In this exhibit, "smart" walls made of the thin plastic material used in soda bottles replace brick and mortar. This material can be made using a printing process, allowing these walls to be produced much more quickly than a regular wall. This exhibit sounds so cool that I don't even want to make fun of it beyond its ridiculous name, which made me think they were wrapping different objects in condoms. OK, now I'm done
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Fire in the Disco
SoMa
33 S. 3rd Street
Wednesdays, 10 p.m.-2 a.m., Free
(215) 873-0222
www.somaclub.com
Wednesday nights are like totally the new Thursdays. This night of wild dance fever ain't for the weak at heart. Including everything from indie rock, to disco, to British pop, the plethora of music is as varied as the array of Von Dutch color combinations that you're guaranteed to see at this Philly hotspot. Just don't forget to get bring your milk shake to the yard and shake it like a Polaroid picture, because dance-offs have been know to ensue!
Bodyrock
Aqua Lounge
323 W. Girard Avenue
Sat, 10 p.m., $5
(215) 769-5114
www.aqualoungephilly.com
As a young man, I was lovingly instructed that running with scissors is normally a poor proposition. However, I apparently didn't get the memo about dancing and scissors. It took a mere 13 limbs over the course of my life before I was able to finally say, "my bad." I supposed my career as a dancing barber is officially over. Don't let my antics stop you, though. Let the blood stain on the floor stop you.
Cool.Junkie
Shampoo
417 N. 8th Street
Sat, 9 p.m., $15
(215) 922-7500
www.shampooonline.com
Hop diggity! For any of you clubbers out there, Shampoo is serving up the dishes ice cold ice cold! This shake-me-down rumblehouse now has a rotating ensemble of resident and guest DJs who are laying it out old school. Hard trance, hip-hop, reggae and house will all be pulsing on the dance floor to send any junkie monkey into a frenzy of romp-a-stomp. Shampoo has long been known for its serpentine lines, though, so don't wrinkle your fancy duds by making trouble. We're talking velvet ropes crushed against your face as a bouncer sits on your legs. The club that put the posh in pish posh is back.
Lifted Sundays
Shampoo
417 N. 8th Street
Sundays, 9 p.m.-2 a.m., Free
(215) 922-7500
Sundays, they're better than Baskin-Robbins. No better time to blaze cheeba (or visit the gay/lesbian club/bar Shampoo). Quick weed joke: one day, a psychology professor tells his class, "Used regularly, pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer or even castration!" A baffled student interrupts, "Now wait a minute, professor, castration? Now that's absurd." The professor quickly replies, "No, young man, it's sadly true. Just suppose your girlfriend gets the munchies!"
Me on TV
Please Touch Museum
210 N. 21st and Race Streets
Through March 13, 9:30 a.m., $8.95
(215) 963-0666
www.pleasetouchmuseum.org
You could be on TV ... at a children's museum. If you're at all like me and crave the attention of the spotlight, you'll head over to the Please Touch Museum and cut all the little kids in line so you can be first on the big screen. You really feel like you're on TV when they dress you up and give you props. But they don't actually broadcast you, and you don't really appear on TV. I had to learn that the hard way.
Trick the Devil
Freedom Theatre
1346 N. Broad Street
Through March 7, various days and times, $25-27
(215) 765-2793
www.freedomtheatre.org
Silly Bill Harris -- tricks are for kids. That's what someone should have told blues star Robert Johnson who, as legend has it, sold his soul to the devil so that he could sing the blues. While this new play explores Johnson's life and music and greater length, here's a hint: If you're gonna sell your soul to the devil, make sure it's for a worthwhile cause.
Move It
Please Touch Museum
210 N. 21st Street
Through March 13, 9:30 a.m., $8.95
(215) 963-0666
www.pleasetouchmuseum.org
So the day you got your license, you crashed your car into a mailbox and haven't been allowed behind the wheel since. Well, then, get the exhilarating feeling of driving by jumping behind the wheel of a SEPTA bus. Don't forget to 'fill up' at the pretend gas station. Show off to all the little kids while you're waiting in line by telling them you've driven a car. God, it feels good to be the big man on campus.
Here on the Flight Path
Walnut Street Theatre Independence Studio on 3
825 Walnut Street
Through Feb. 29; 2:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.; $24
(215) 574-3550
www.wstonline.org/studio3.html
I could regale you with background on Norm Foster, the actor/playwright who has captured the essence of Canadian humor in his stage vignettes on life. I could comment on the premise of his play, with its divorced philosopher protagonist who writes a column entitled "Cummings and Goings." But I prefer to dwell on the humor of situations involving flying objects. Consider the exploding-pigeon-missile-in-the-jet-engine, or the midair collision of super expensive fighter jets over crowds at air shows. How about the WWII torpedo bomber squadron that disappeared into the Bermuda darkness as gas gauges quivered above empty. Now that's beam me up Scotty!
Mad as a Hatter
Free Library of Philadelphia
1901 Vine Street
Through March 31, 9 a.m., Free
(215) 686-5322
www.library.phila.gov
As my childhood was best characterized by Fraggle Rock and the occasional hit of sweet-lady-heroine, I really don't have any interest in relating to what the hell this event is about. Instead, I'd rather tell you how much I love the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland and how that ride in Disney World makes me nostalgic for a time without worries and fears. Why is my childhood over? Why, I ask you???
DJ Sat-One
Grape Street Pub
105 Grape Street
Manayunk, PA 19127
Thu, 10 p.m., $6
(215) 483-7084
www.grapestreet.com
A compadre of the legendary DJ Jazzy Jeff, Sat One keeps good company. For over a decade, he has been a strong force in the Philadelphia hip hop scene, spinning at clubs around the city while beatmaking on the side. Just recently, he seems to have begun climbing the ladder toward national reknown, as industry goliath Roc-a-fella Records has added him to their roster of in-house producers. Peep his tracks on the latest State Property record for a taste of his big, bold and bouncy sound. If you like what you hear, motivate over to the Grape Street Pub in support of this man on a mission.
Pennywise
The Trocadero
1003 Arch Street
Thu, 7 p.m., $17
(215) 922-LIVE
www.thetroc.com
The poor man's Bad Religion is hitting Philly again, a show guaranteed to draw a good cross section of poseur skater kids from middle school and chest pounding frat boys sneaking in water bottles of Vodka. Pennywise's fanbase represents punk rock at its most embarrassing level. One can guarantee the only song these myopic idiots will even know the lyrics to will be Brohymn. With Epitath Records producing decent records by artists like Atmosphere and The Weakerthans, this beer pong friendly bullshit just doesn't cut it anymore.
Stretch Armstrong
Trocadero Ballroom
1003 Arch Street
Thu, 7 p.m., $17
(215) 922-6888
www.stretcharmstrong.net
Stretch them, bend them, tie them in knots! For a small fee you can tug on the limbs of these superheroes. No dancers on the ballroom floor, please; make way for 10-foot torsos. But seriously,, Stretch will serve up heavy metal in a place where folks have waltzed in tuxedos. Whose arm did they have to twist this time?
The Mickey Roker Quartet
Ortlieb's Jazz Haus
847 N. Third St.
Thu, 8:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m., Free
(215) 922-1035
www.ortliebsjazzhaus.com
You may not read about him in Jazz 101, but Roker played with the greats in their heyday. A loyal Philly native, he will be playing in the city's quintessential jazz bar. Mickey drummed along to Ella's voice and Gillespie's horn, and he hasn't lost his touch since.
Hey Mercedes
North Star Bar
2639 Poplar St.
Fri, 9 p.m., $10
(215) 684-0808
www.northstarbar.com
Alright, here's the deal: as much as Hey Mercedes would love to put its past behind it, the fact remains that three of its members was in Braid, one of the best and influential emotive bands of the nineties. No matter how many albums these guys release, they're never going to reach the status of Braid. In fact, every album Hey Mercedes puts out just seems to take one more step back from Braid's awesomeness. Sure, this may be a good majority of Braid playing, but the desperation has been substituted with ho hum chord progressions and predictable song patterns.
Jacob Fred Jazz Odyssey
Tritone
1508 South Street
Sat, 10 p.m., $10
(215) 545-0475
www.jfjo.com
In Medieval times, the tritone chord was considered the sound of the devil. Gregor and his chanters fled from it like the Plague. Classical jazz musicians, like the Hades 1350 of Paris, could never get more than a handful of lost souls to attend their concerts. Nowadays, though, Satan reigns supreme. Jacob Fred and his minions base their jazz around the eerie sounds of the electric organ. Improvising in dark, smokey bars across America, their devil's work will cajole your soul and make you long for a fiery pit of eternal music.
Ted Gerike Piano Happy Hour
Chris' Jazz Caf‚
1421 Sansom Street
Feb. 17, 24 & March 2, 5 p.m., Free
(215) 568-3131
www.chrisjazzcafe.com
At first, it was just an innocent evening of singing along to "Piano Man," and the next thing I knew, I was yelling at a green fireball streaking across the sky with people I have never met before, in a state I have never been. No, not denial Oklahoma. Get it? But when those people begin to break Colt 45 bottles against their heads and wield them as weapons, it's not a time to be picky. "Sing us a song Piano Man," indeed.
