With tensions at an all time high following last Tuesday's election, sometimes it's hard to describe how you feel. Bitter disappointment, frustration, sheer terror, (joy?) -- these words simply don't say enough. Fortunately, movies are there for us, reminding us that when we just can't think of the right words, someone else probably already has. These movie moments speak our pain so we don't have to.
The Princess Bride
Before entering the Fire Swamp, Princess Buttercup exclaims, "But we'll never survive!" to which Westley responds, "Nonsense, you only say that because no one ever has."
Translation: Westley's (President Bush) ungrounded optimism provides little solace to the terrified Buttercup (America) in the face of certain death in the Fire Swamp (Iraq).
-- Clayton Neuman
Office Space
At Bill Lumbergh's birthday party, everyone gets a piece of cake except for Milton Waddams, who had been warning everyone that this had happened before, that it is unfair and that it is likely to happen again.
Translation: This scene represents the same corrupt power structures and blind faith in leadership that denied John Kerry his rightful presidency. Milton may talk strangely and appear unappealing, but he deserves that piece of cake. Kerry may be longwinded and too articulate, and may have voted against bills whose principles he agrees with because the legislation itself is not feasible (thus cementing his title as "flip-flopper"), but he deserves that presidency!
-- Maggie Hennefeld
Jackass: The Movie
The crew walk into an unsuspecting plumbing fixtures store and defecate into a toilet on display. As the fumes propagate, the store manager is caught off-guard in a "what the fuck just happened" moment.
Translation: The crew are those who voted for Bush, the toilet is the Democrats and their failed ideology and the store manager is the mainstream media, who with their preordained biases and exit polls are caught totally off-guard from the shower of shit that has just befallen them.
-- Ian Zuckerman
Dr. Strangelove
President Merkin Muffley: "You're talking about mass murder, General, not war!"
General "Buck" Turgidson : "Mr. President, I'm not saying we would't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than 10 to 20 million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks."
Translation: Self-evident.
-- Cara Liberatore
Kingpin
Roy Munson and Ernie McCracken are bowling rivals. But what stands out most about the two is not their respective bowling skills -- it's their sheer idiocy. Both men are balding, narcissistic buffoons. In the film's climax, Munson is defeated by his evil nemesis McCracken. But does it really matter? Both competitors were schmucks anyway.
-- Jon Levin
