Yes, we know that a vodka tonic is your drink of choice: simple, mundane and completely uninspired. Like an inebriated sheep in a Prada-clad flock, you saddle up to the bar every Saturday, begging for that next uncreative cocktail. But why? Aside from the O.C. and Law & Order: SVU, life has become a boring monotony, leaving you at the tail end of an unexciting rat race. That being said, why are we still slurring our orders for subpar beverages to our respective hosts of hedonism? Hence, at the expense of upsetting the Conservative Right, we propose a revolution in boozing. Capt'n and coke? That ship, dear friends, has sailed. It's time to shake things up.

Picture it: your khaki-sporting sidekick swaggers up to the bar and demands a gin and tonic, a tired and trite choice. You, on the other hand, kindly ask the local barkeep for a Red-headed Slut. Immediately, faces become aglow with admiration for your vast knowledge, friends pat your back and that girl from Econ 001 mentions her boyfriend's out of town. We've helped you with hangovers. We've helped you with wine. Now, let us help you get Between the Sheets.

Between the Sheets

1 oz. brandy

1 oz. light rum

1 oz. Triple Sec

1 oz. lemon juice.

Sex on my Face (No, we're not making this up. And yes, we suggest you try it.)

1/2 oz Yukon Jack

1/2 oz Malibu Rum

1/2 oz Southern Comfort

1/2 oz banana liqueur

splash cranberry juice

splash pineapple juice

splash orange juice

Sex with an Alligator (Don't try this. Please.)

1 oz Jagermeister

1 oz melon liqueur

1 oz raspberry liqueur

1 oz pineapple juice

ice

Red-headed Slut

1 1/2 oz Jagermeister

1 1/2 oz Peach schnapps

Fill with cranberry juice

Jesus is Here (And man, is he pissed!)

20 cl Schweppes Russchian

19 cl vodka


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