A reading by Rae Armantrout
Kelly Writers House
3805 Locust Walk
Thu, 5p.m., free
(215) 573-WRIT
www.writing.upenn.edu/~wh
Rae Armantrout, who most recently wrote the book Up To Speed, is coming to read. I know, I know, she's probably brilliant since her poetry has won awards and all that jazz, but I could read her damned book on my own. And I don't need her telling me I have literacy problems and she needs to read to me, because that's just offensive. So if you want to go to the Writer's House and have her insult you, that's fine. But I'm staying at home and reading The Cat in the Hat.
Storylines: Ethnography, Storytelling and Creative Writing
Kelly Writers House
3805 Locust Walk
Fri, 1p.m.-4p.m., free
(215) 573-WRIT
www.writing.upenn.edu/~wh
What makes your family and your culture unique? Can't think of anything, eh? Your mom probably studies monkey phalluses, just like mine, and your dad, I'm sure, is a secret agent for the Icelanders. No doubt, you come from a mixed family -- Irish Catholic and Jewish -- and on that most memorable of occasions, your bris, you were more than likely circumcised by a leprechaun. Have I guessed right? Of course. Lucky for you, your ethnographic tales needn't reflect the banality of your life. At this workshop, Professor Margaret Yocom will teach you how to spruce up your tired, dusty old anecdotes.
Opening Reception: Sting Like a Maccabee
National Museum of American Jewish History
55 N. Fifth Street
Sun, 1p.m., free
(215) 923-3811
www.nmajh.org
I know what you're thinking: "Jews are deli owners, lawyers, psychiatrists or dentists, but never boxers." But there were, in fact, 26 Jewish world-boxing champions between 1910 and 1940. This exhibit pays tribute to Jews, throughout history, who had the chutzpa to leave their rye bread at the deli counter and enter the boxing ring. Don't miss this, you putz!
Anne Hirondelle Exhibition
Snyderman Gallery
303 Cherry Street
Tue-Sat,10a.m.-6p.m., through Nov. 27, free
(215) 922-7576
www.snyderman-works.com
After studying English and Psychology and then suffering through a year of law school, Anne Hirondelle finally found her true calling as an artist. The current exhibit showcases her ceramic works. Looking at pictures of her art, I have to admit that some of the pieces look like sleeker, more sophisticated versions of pottery I used to make at summer camp as a kid ... or perhaps more polished versions of pottery McInerney keeps showing slides of to my Ancient Greece class. In any case, her pieces do have a certain simplicity and grace to them ... check it out, and see what they remind you of.
The Art of Nelson Shanks
Woodmere Art Museum
9201 Germantown Ave.
Tue-Sat, 10a.m.-5p.m., Sun, 1p.m.-5p.m., through Jan 9, $3
(215) 247-2387
www.woodmereartmuseum.org
Nelson Shanks is quite an interesting little character. The man has been commisioned by the rich and famous to paint their portraits. Distinguished people like Princess Diana, Presidents Reagan and Clinton have asked him to capture their glory with the power of his brush. Even Pope John Paul II begged Shanks to hop over to good ol' Vatican city and take his best shot at portraying him. While Shanks paints some of the beautiful people to grace this earth, he has not managed to change his little comb-over across the years. Quite an interesting little paradox.
Non-Retinal: Kovert Konflagration Kovenant
Slought Foundation
4017 Walnut Street
Wed-Sat, 11a.m.-6p.m., through Jan. 31, free
(215) 222-9050
www.slought.org
Right around the corner from your local frat house lies a quaint little Mecca of experimental art. Little did you realize as you were stumbling home that you could have just as easily spent your evening basking in the glory of some of Philadelphia's most creative spirits. The "non-retinal" part of this exhibit refers to how blind artist David Stephens sees his world. He takes a look at cross-burning as a means to threaten a community and its role in politics. It is truly a powerful exhibit.
David Lamelas: Exhibiting Mediality
Institute of Contemporary Art
118 S. 36th St.
Wed-Fri, 12p.m.-8p.m., Sat-Sun, 11a.m.-5p.m., through Dec. 12, free for Penn students
(215) 898-7108
www.icaphila.org/exhibitions/lamelas.php
Did you read that? FREE for Penn Students. That's right. This is the perfect time for a cheap date. Here's the plan. Call up the hot girl from Villanova you met last week and tell her, "Let me take you to dinner and an art show." Then bring her down to Triangle Diner and have Mommy and Daddy pay the bursar. Then go to the ICA and flash your "VIP" PennCard to get in for free. Then go back to your room and try to replicate the art sculptures on your bed. Mission complete.
Virsky Ukrainian National Dance Company
Irvine Auditorium
3401 Spruce Street
Sun, 3p.m.-5:30p.m., $10 for students
(215) 898-3900
www.upenn.edu/pennnews/artsandculture
The 85 members of this renowned dance group perform according to national and cultural themes, including the Ukrainian folk traditions of humor and optimism, while also incorporating stories of Ukraine's history. Rooted in ballet, the troupe keeps the show lively with their artistic displays of impressive acrobatics. Go for the culture, stay for the talented dances and imaginative costumes, and leave with a complete sense of shame at how any traditional American dance (square-dance? waltz??) pales in comparison to the Ukrainian display of splendor you just witnessed.
Allah Made me Funny
Anderson Hall
Temple University
1913 N. Broad Street
Fri, 7p.m. & 9p.m., $20
(267) 718-8986
www.allahmademefunny.com
During this politically charged time, it is very important to laugh at religion. You should find humor in other people's religions, as well as your own. I, for instance, am Jewish. Hahaha! See, that felt good. Allah Made Me Funny is a comedy show with an Islamic perspective, but it is not intended solely for Muslim audiences. Hopefully, the art of humor will serve as a weapon against ignorance in this, a time of great cultural misunderstanding.
Jim Breuer
Trocadero
1003 Arch Street
Fri, 8p.m., $23-$26
(215) 922-LIVE
www.thetroc.com
As a D-list actor with little hope of generating any more fame, Jim Breuer has been sucking up what little substance is still left in his reputation. The guy left the best thing that was going for him, Saturday Night Live, even though it wasn't even really going for him in the first place. I mean, Goat Boy? What the fuck? Not only is this guy extremely not funny, but he likes to prance around in a loin cloth screeching a horrible goat yodel. He hurts my ears. And my heart.
Badly Drawn Boy
Theatre of Living Arts
334 South Street
Thu, 8p.m., $20
(215) 922-1011
www.theateroflivingarts.net
Remember that cute movie About a Boy where Hugh Grant acts like he has a kid he doesn't have in order to pick up a girl? Well, even if you're not a Hugh Grant fan there's another reason why you can still love the movie -- for its awesome music, which is a perfect backdrop for Nick Hornby's story of internal conflicts over identity and love. The British group Badly Drawn Boy gets the credit for that whole soundtrack as well as their other albums that have nothing to do with the movie. So, maybe there's no Hugh Grant, but hey, they still have the accent.
Chamber Orchestra of Philadelphia: Handel Arias
Kimmel Center
260 S. Broad St.
Mon, 7:30p.m., $23-$78
(215) 790-5800
www.kimmelcenter.org
Would you like to Handel my chamber? -- perhaps you'll inspire me to sing an aria. Jerry Lynne Johnson will lead the Chamber Orchestra of Philadelphia in this performance of Handel Arias, including Concerto grosso in A minor Op. 6, No. 4. Concerto grosso is allegedly quite beautiful, despite its grosso name. Bwahaha! Would you like to Handel my chamber? Of course you would.
Philadelphia Laptop Battle 3
Silk City
5th & Spring Garden streets
Thu, 9p.m.--2a.m., $5
(215) 802-6844
www.seclusiasis.com
Computers run the world. Computer-savvy geeks are more powerful than any loser could've dreamed, at least before the '80s. This event gives computer producers an opportunity to showcase their geekiness in a forum other than AIM. Their tracks promise to include elements of dancehall and hip-hop, but above all, social inadequacy. It could get ugly. I just hope nobody catches a virus.
Dan Hicks and His Hot Licks
Tin Angel at Serrano
20 S. 2nd St.
Thu, 8:30p.m., $25
(215) 928-0770
www.tinangel.com
Dan Hicks is an outstanding crossover artist, fusing jazz, folk and country. But, in my mind, he will forever be remembered as the artist whose backup singers are called "The Lickettes". Hicks and his group emerged out of San Francisco "flower power," but, even as Hicks himself reaches his 60s, he and his Lickettes have continued ... to lick. Dan Hicks and His Hot Licks will perform with Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown and Hot Club of Cowtown.
Dave Holland Quintet
Painted Bride Art Center
230 Vine Street
Fri, 7p.m. & 9p.m., $35, $17.50 for members
(215) 925-9914
www.paintedbride.org
We all know that Dave Holland has a huge instrument, the jazz bass. But, of course, it isn't the size of the bass that matters, it's the depth of your groove, the energy and conviction of your performance, a willingness to experiment -- to challenge convention. Indeed, Dave Holland has done all of those things. Holland changed jazz with his innovations in time and rhythm. His approach gave rise to a whole new school of improvised music, ECM Jazz.
The New Deal
Theatre of Living Arts
334 South Street
Fri, 9p.m., $15
(215) 922-1011
www.electricfactory.com
Dance, dance, dance! Shrooms, shrooms, shrooms! Franklin Delano Roosevelt! The New Deal -- political connotations aside -- is a jazz trio, which uses house and trance beats for its forward momentum. The band's sets are veritable dance marathons. Hippie types take to the dance floor, and they don't stop for a full hour. The New Deal has been criticized for over-doing their jams. But, if you like that Phishy ambience, the New Deal might be the right band to get high to.
Gospel Brunch with Marie Knight
World Cafe Live
3025 Walnut Street
Sun, 11a.m., $32
(215) 222-1400
www.worldcafelive.com
As you wake up Sunday morning smelling like old Banker's Club, with your head pounding in agony, you can take a nice little walk over to the new World Cafe Live to start your day right with some gospel. Nothing could be much sweeter than listening to Marie Knight's angelic voice while scarfing down some French toast. Mmmmm ... delicious! Perhaps she can work out your demons and prevent next week's hangover.
Lit
Trocadero Theater
1003 Arch Street
Thu, 6p.m., $13
(215) 922-LIVE
www.thetroc.com
When I hear of the band Lit, the first (and really only) thing that comes to my mind is their music video from four years ago for the song "Miserable," which shows them performing while parading across Pamela Anderson's body. Either this shows my disconnect from the alternative rock scene, as I was totally unaware they were even still around and making music, or it shows that they are still around but their TRL days of fame have passed. If you go to the show, let me know if they still have supermodel sidekicks, or if they've opted for some other diversion.
Gay BINGO
Gershman Y
401 S. Broad St.
Sat, 6p.m., $15
(215) 545-4400
www.gershmany.org
If you could handle the heat of Thursday nights at Bob & Barbara's, you could pump up the jam even more at the famous GayBINGO. Although the purpose of the event is to raise money for AIDS, prepare for a full-on RuPaul-esque drag queens partying it up. Hostess Elise I. Hadsome and the Bingo-Verifying Divas skate around making sure no funny business is going down. The theme of the night will be "Reject Barbie." Who knows what kind of madness that could hold?
Annual WIT Coffeehouse and Feminist Literature reading
Women's Center
3643 Locust Walk
Thu, 7p.m., free
(215) 898-8611
www.vpul.upenn.edu/pwc/
Oh feminists, you don't shave your armpits. I know that is a sweeping generalization and usually it's wrong to say things like that, but dammit, I know it's true, because I once met a feminist! Either way, free events are always fun, especially when there's coffee involved and the reading of man-hating literature. Or you could just stay home and watch Lifetime, but that wouldn't be as fun now would it?
The Daily Show: Serious Political Discourse?
Annenberg School for Communication
3620 Walnut Street, Room 109
Thu, 7p.m., free
www.pennsmear.org
The Students for Media Education and Reform are trying to figure out why and how Jon Stewart's the Daily Show has captured America's heart. Annenberg PhD candidate and member of Comedy Sportz Danna Goldthwaite-Young will discuss how Stewart is able to break news norms, and uses clips of interviews to express her point. Whatever, we all know the mastermind behind the whole show is the glorious Steve Colbert. Oh, Steve, can I please bear your children?
Arts House Dance Company and Pennyloafers present, "Jen's, Jo's & Tippy Toes"
Iron Gate Theater
37th and Chestnut streets
Thu.-Sat., 8p.m., $7 on the walk, $8 at the door dolphin.upenn.edu/~loafers/
We all know the Penny Loafers as one of those a capella groups on campus with a cute and clever name, but have no idea what they sing. Their eclectic repertoire includes some great bands such as the Strokes and Coldplay, although the utter suckiness of Evanescence may just even that out. Nevertheless, it's always impressive to hear people sing words you never knew existed in order to mimic the sound of a guitar or piano. But please, if you do go to their show, remain calm and don't scream at them for their refusal to use instruments. Apparently that's their charm.
Les Triplettes de Belleville
Graduate Student Center,
3615 Locust Walk
Thu, 7p.m., free
www.gsc.upenn.edu/programs/film.htm#anim
This animated movie is different from other films you've probably seen in that the story is conveyed by music and sound effects instead of dialogue. It is a humorous tale of how the Belleville sisters help Madame Souza recover her grandson after he has been kidnapped by the French Mafia during the Tour de France. The Belleville sisters are a singing group from the days of Fred Astaire, so there's sure to be lively music accompaniment. Seeing this film will entertain your inner child while also give you a chance to impress others when they hear you spit out the name of this French title.
Penn Players presents Annie Get Your Gun
Annenberg Center Prince Theater
3680 Walnut Street
Thu-Fri, 8p.m., Sat, 2p.m. & 8p.m., $7 with PennCard
dolphin.upenn.edu/~players
I know the girl who plays Annie in this play. I subletted a room in her house this summer and she's been preparing her role for months. She got a gun from some dude on South Street and has been practicing her shooting in our backyard by shooting my old cans of pinto beans. She'd sit out her window and knock squirrels right out the tree. We went down the shore this summer and she beat House of the Dead in 36 seconds. I'd say she's ready for this play. Go see it.
