Menopause

Meryl Street, like many of your mothers, no longer bleeds monthy from her innerds. Her river is no longer wild, if you catch our drift. Get it? Drift? Rafts? Placenta-filled rapids? Beautiful and bloody in its way. When the river dries up, the weeds turn grey and everything smells like a salty cunt-quistadora, but hey, you're at the beach, so you'd better look good! Meryl keeps her barren wasteland tight by doing weekly kegel exercises. For those of you who don't know, kegel exercises help tighten old, sloppy vaginas. Remember Borat, sleave of wizard? Yeah, that level gross. Don't get us wrong - dirty old men are the grossest (see: Penn profs), but we digress. To tell you the truth, we don't know a thing about menopause other than that it makes Thanksgiving dinner conversation more awkward: "Hey mom, can you pass the dinner rolls?" "Son, your mother's just going through menopause right now." "...Um, what?" ...and so forth. In conclusion, naked Meryl Street appears before you with Meryl Street heads covering her nipples and menopausal vagina.