Dear Penn Boobies,
In my early Sunday morning drunken stupor, I was browsing the erudite pages of collegehumor.com and to my surprise I found myself very disappointed. You see, one of my friends at Ohio State recently mentioned that four of her friends bared their breasts to get onto the site. I looked up the friends in question only to find that Ohio State has 14 pictures under the "R-rated" category. I, of course, had to find out - how many pictures from dear old Penn qualify as R-rated? Sadly, only two. And one is a video with cursing - totally doesn't count. You see, college porn is a bit like a college sport. Kids at smart schools usually aren't as good at it unless its something weird like fencing, or in this case, fucking against a skyscraper window. Penn girls, do me just one favor and show me your titties. Seriously, I've seen you do all kinds of repugnant shit at parties, so lighten up a little and produce one set of knockers with "I
