To whom it may concern: It is Thursday. It is raining.
It is April 19 aka my 21st birthday and I have a confession to make: I have been living a lie.
I have been living a lie in the truest sense of the concept: lie, fraud, fib, an untruth. In short: identity theft.
Aye, my friends, I am a fraudulent fiend; A fibbing Fournier; a fictitious front-er.
I stole the identity of myself five years in the future living in the utopia of Alpine, California. No, I am not 26 years-old and sadly, after three years of owning said fake identification, I still do not know my fake address. Although some were too wise (Smokes and on some occasions, Alegros) to believe this fallacy, I made deep and lasting friendships with the employees and Wine and Spirits. The question: will they ever believe me again?
The whole point of this alliteration brimmed rant was so that I could print a picture of my fake id. -Ø my life is now complete.
That said, this is our last issue of the year and so with a sick gratification we say sayonara suckers! We are out. Your Thursdays may be meaningless with out the Street in your lives (we know ours will be too) but you can always go online when you get that lonely feeling and read our archived issues. It is not quite as good as the real, hardcopy deal, but it is one method of coping. It is okay to cry. We sometimes cry too. Use the magazine as a tissue. It has aloe in it! No joke. (okay, that is a lie too, it was a joke.)
This, as mentioned before, being our last issue, we hope that we have entertained you this semester. We hope that our writing is so elegant that it makes you want to puke.
That said, a few last, special shoutouts. To Wine and Spirits and my fake id: thanks for the memories that I haven't made. To our readers: thanks for the memories. Seriously. We love you and your smile.
See you all at Mad4.
Loves it.
