Before you can even think of any tryptophan-induced exhaustion, remember that you have to actually make it to your Thanksgiving dinner - a daunting task for even the most seasoned of travelers. So when you start your trek home this Turkey Day, channel the spirits of the 102 friendly pilgrims who made a 65-day, storm-plagued trip on the disease-infested Mayflower in 1620. They may have worn ugly hats, but as far as making the journey goes, the Pilgrims were definitely the cool kids on the block. Even if you don't have any Separatist savviness, have no fear: let Street be your Squanto and teach you how to plant the crops.
By Train: The pilgrims understood value, so don't take the Acela. It's ten minutes faster, sixty bucks more expensive and makes you look silly. The Pilgrims also learned how to plan ahead, starting their harvest early each year. So reserve a seat at Amtrak.com now, and make sure you have access to a Student Advantage Discount Card: you'll save 15% if you book your seat three days in advance. And make sure to arrive at the station early. The cars fill up so quickly, latecomers may end up sitting on the floor.
By Car: Aboard the Mayflower, passengers were forced to stay underneath the deck almost all day, arising only to empty their chamber pots. So, by all means, when nature calls, find a rest stop. But don't stop too often or that soul-crushing pre-holiday traffic will make you woefully late for your feast. And since Thanksgiving is all about America the Beautiful, go green, and fit as many people in your car as you can. At the very least, you'll get to split the gas.
By Plane: Even though the airport staff may be bitter (you would be too if you were working on Thanksgiving), remember the gregariousness the pilgrims and Native Americans exhibited towards each other, and flash those not-so-friendly workers a smile. They may not let you cut the security line, but they'll be less likely to yell at you for trying to sneak your lip balm onto the plane. And whatever you do, do not check your luggage. You probably wanted to bring all your laundry home so that your mommy could do it for you, but checking bags will add hours to an already torturous trip. Plus, without checked luggage, you can check in online the night before your flight and head straight to security on Thanksgiving.
By Bus: If you really want to adopt the pilgrim tenet of frugality, opt for the Chinatown Bus. Getting to New York, Boston or Washington, D.C. is cheap and easy. It's super simple at http://www.chinatown-bus.org/.
No matter which method of travel you choose, there is one piece of advice that is essential to anyone who wants to journey from sea to shining sea: escape from Penn early. Like a day early. The day before Thanksgiving rivals only the day before Christmas as a traveler's worst nightmare, so try to avoid the stampeding crowds by ditching your Wednesday classes and leaving on Tuesday. Blowing off school may sound crazy, but, like your pilgrim predecessors, you'll thank Squanto later.
