7:59 p.m.: Double–check my e–mails to confirm the location as I hustle from class to this required program to brush up on my tour–guiding knowledge. Search Hillel for stairs to the second floor that I didn’t know existed.
8:03 p.m.: Glance at the screen and read to pick up information sheets in the back. They don’t exist. Survey crowd of about 30 and decide that because I don’t know them, they must be freshmen. Is that girl wearing a scarf or a neck brace?
8:06 p.m.: Program starts with some sort of icebreaker. Eavesdrop on the girl next to me telling her friend that this better be over by nine so she can watch The Bachelor. Amen to that.
8:10 p.m.: Snap out of my hunger coma to the announcement of prizes for participation. Think I’m hallucinating when packs of hot chocolate, a box of oatmeal, a pretzel stick and a foam Quaker hat are revealed as the loot.
8:20 p.m.: Go through an ideal tour. I have to say “University of Pennsylvania” sometime in my introduction. Decide that if the people on my tour don’t know that already, they won’t get in.
8:32 p.m.: Hunger pains are becoming unbearable. Ponder whether or not it would be inappropriate to have a CampusFood order delivered here. Ponder if I’d even be allowed to eat non–Kosher food in Hillel.
8:42 p.m.: No, I would not like to give a “fun rendition” of the Ben Franklin/Button story, thank you very much. Presenter looks at me again, to the point where I’m slightly afraid of being called out for my complete lack of interest and participation.
8:53 p.m.: Note to self: don’t mention passed out roommate when telling prospective students about Fling.
9:01 p.m.: Officially running late. Notice mob outside room waiting to get in. Who knew that Hillel was so happening? Maybe I should come here more often. Put on my coat and my pouty face to indicate that I’m ready to leave.
9:06 p.m.: Bolt out the door prizeless and in search of food for my neglected stomach.
